Posted in Emotions

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

Today’s topic of conversation inner turmoil is trust. I’m not sure why but its something thats been occupying my mind a lot recently and I thought that by writing about it, it may stop running around in my head rent free.

I think we have spoken about this before in many other posts but here we go again… Trust is a huge thing for me and many of you will know why, or at least have suspicions. I value truth above all else and it is something I live by, in many cases I can be too honest and it makes me a human version of marmite; people with either find it refreshing or irritating, love it or hate it, it’s just part of who I am unless it comes to William, I sometimes find it hard being honest when I need help and will just keep going, pretending all is fine and then will write on here about how hard it can be and people will reach out, why didn’t I ask for help? Sometimes it’s a pride thing, sometimes I think that if another mom can do it why can’t I, even though our children are very different. Any way I think I’m digressing from the subject at hand here…

In any relationship trust is one of the most important thigs whether it’s the trust between partners, the trust you have in the professionals and babysitters who look after your children, the trust between an employee and their employer and the trust your child has in you. Trust is something we have in many different variations, I have a trust in the battery on my laptop, that it won’t die on me whilst I am writing this. (Currently on 26% 🔋) My main thoughts today are what we do when that trust is broken, how we can overcome it? If we can overcome it? If my battery dies, I wont trust it to last next time its low and would bring my charger downstairs but what if it’s a person that breaks that trust?

A wise person told me that once trust is broken, any form of relationship will never be the same again. That’s not to say that things can’t be good again but just not the same and we can either accept that and try to move passed it or we can write off that person and make sure we are more guarded with the next.

Protecting yourself and your children from the pain that comes with deceit is important but is it possible to shield yourself too much? We have been let down by so many medical services, local authority departments and people that I wonder if we should ever trust someone in what they say again.

Trust isn’t just about lies but about the breaking of promises or failing do something you should do.

  • ‘The referral has gone through, Mrs Buckley’
  • ‘I know what I’m doing’
  • ‘I love you’
  • ‘He on the list of allocations Marie, I made sure of it’
  • ‘Your arse doesn’t look fat in those leggings’
  • ‘I’m not having an affair’
  • ‘It’s just a little needle, it doesn’t hurt’
  • ‘William will grow out of it’
  • ‘I’m ok’
  • ‘It’s fine’
  • ‘I’ve chased the referral’
  • ‘I understand how hard things are for you and I will help’
  • ‘I’ve just been for a drive’
  • ‘I can do it on my own’

And my favourite silent lie… a smile 🙂.

The list is pretty much endless, but how many lies is too many? When do you just walk away? When do you change doctors? Or professionals or cut people out that you can’t trust?

There are a few people in my life that I have implicitly trusted, even fewer in William’s life and it seems that I don’t really learn my lesson. I have misplaced faith in people that talk the talk but never back it up with anything of substance. People that tell me they are doing one thing but are really doing another and just try to placate me to stop an argument (that the truth would have prevented), to stop me legal action, or to mislead me into forgetting about my rights or prevent official complaints. I think the last few years has taught me to question everything and everyone, and I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do.
Give people the opportunity to lie to you and if they don’t, it tells you something about their character or even their professional ethics but if they do… you have to make a decision. Was it a lie? Was it broken promise or a failure of duty? What ramifications did it have? Can you trust that person to continue in their usual capacity in your lives?

Can you forget about it? Can trust ever be fully rebuilt?

I guess that’s the big questions isn’t it?

P.s, My battery is at 9%

Get new rants delivered directly to your inbox.

Please remember to check us out, and follow us on our social media pages 🙂

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/OurJOTS

Posted in Autism In The News

Genevieve Hyde

Do you know this woman? If not let me introduce you…

Genevieve Hyde

This is Genevieve Hyde, she is the former head of education at Wargrave House School and Specialist College in Newton-Le-Willows.

I struggle when I think about the fact I will have to entrust William into the hands of a school for more than 6 hours a day, it genuinely gives me palpitations and strikes fear into my soul but when you make that inevitable decision of which school to entrust your child to, you pray it was the right one and that they have the utmost respect for you children and their needs. That they have nothing but the best intentions.

Genevieve did something that as a special needs parent I find unforgivable, she made fun of the children in her care. In fact, it’s unforgivable to make comments about any child but she was in a position of power and trust! I have had friends and family make comments about my child and can honestly say they have swiftly been put in their place or cut out completely… this is someone who should know much better than to be so cruel, someone who chose to work in that field, someone who should understand.

Genevieve created a WhatsApp group with members of her staff in which she not only made comments about other staff, but about pupils in her care. It was the another member of this group chat that reported her for her comments.

She also made comments referring to her pupils as ‘window licking’ my question here is that although one of her staff members reported her, did they comment in return to the messages? did they tell her it was inappropriate? or did they go along with her?

Can you imagine how the parents of this school feel knowing they placed their trust in a woman who blatantly abused it.

This woman was trusted with the care and education of children like William, children who, as the name of the school suggests require specialist care. In May 2019 she was suspended under an investigation of misconduct. She was later dismissed in which she unsuccessfully tried to appeal. Thank God! However, despite losing her job, she is still allowed to continue in the profession and seek employment within specialist education. How is this an appropriate punishment? In a few years and this isn’t in the papers, this woman may be in charge of another child’s education, I wouldn’t want it to be my child!

Were parents at her school even notified of this when it happened or have they read about it in the papers and now wondering if it was their child she was referring to?

The world can be a cruel and horrible place…

Much Love
M. xx

Get new rants delivered directly to your inbox.

Please remember to check us out, and follow us on our social media pages 🙂

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/OurJOTS