Posted in Emotions

Inclusion

Let’s talk about inclusion… as an adult, I can honestly say that I genuinely like my own company. It’s much harder to end up in an argument although not impossible. 🤣

We worry about our kids been included in the playground, getting invites for parties and things of the like but as a parent of a child with special needs inclusion is something we worry about for everything. Will I be able to navigate his adaptive stroller around that shop, do the disabled toilets have a suitable changing facility? Will that cafe or restaurant understand that he may be noisy and throw his food?

I feel uncomfortable in situations in which it is obvious that William is uncomfortable, it’s mainly because I still worry about what other people think and I’m not sure that will get go away but I hope it does.

I recently attended an event, or a gathering of sorts and I had the strangest experience, something that I have never experienced before; total all-encompassing inclusion and understanding. It sounds really strange to say this, but I have taken William to places that should have been safe for us, but they weren’t. I was terrified of doing a first new place/event, as I usually am because let’s face it, I can be the queen of anxiety and overthinking and believe me I had been doing a lot of it in the run up.  What if I William had a meltdown? What if people didn’t understand?

I panic about going to my parents or big nanna’s and they’re regular occurrences so its natural that I would panic about somewhere else, I often have my mom or my friend on a standby in case William doesn’t cope with new places or people and it’s a silly thing to think I have to do but it is just one of those things.

I guess what I am trying to say is sometimes you have to take that leap of faith, whether that is faith in a person, an event or yourself. If you’re not willing to try then how will you ever experience new things, how can you write people off as not understanding your child if you’re not giving them the opportunity to do so. In a world of people that can be judgmental and cruel, there are still people who are kind and accepting, people who include our children without trying.

Inclusion is something we all crave, whether we like to admit it or not, it can be in conversation at the dinner table, inclusion in a game of football on the park or in our case it’s the inclusion into society or inclusion into people’s lives. Its something we can take for granted when we are neurotypical, I know before having William it wasn’t something I even thought about but now the thoughts can be all consuming.

Today’s post it to simply say, think about what you are doing, think about the child that you may class as a little odd, think about birthday parties and events, think about how you would feel to be excluded, then think about how it would feel if the sole reason behind it, was because of who you were; something you have no control over.

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Posted in Events & Holidays

Happy birthday Harry!

Today was a great day! Today was Harry’s birthday party; the first party William has been invited to. I do worry that he won’t get many invites as he gets older due to his antisocial behaviour and his tendency to become overwhelmed.

I’m not going to lie to you as that isn’t what this blog is about. As you can guess today like most days started out badly. William had smeared the contents of his nappy everywhere 🤢 and when I tried to change him he repeatedly hit me with shitty hands and when I tried to stop him he bit me. I had to wake up David to help… not what he needed after a night shift but needs must😴 Breakfast wasn’t eaten, well not by William anyway. Rusty thoroughly enjoyed his toast this morning and William enjoyed trying to take a chunk out of my leg when I dared to take his plate away.

Once we were out of the house things took a much better turn. William was calm and happy which is always my favourite version of him. Don’t get me wrong I love every version of him but this one is just amazing. The happiness in his face is one of the purest things I have ever seen and even now when I hear his little laugh I well up a bit.

The party itself was at Hull Community Church which I must say was a brilliant venue. They have an amazing play area in the back which is like a imagination role play wonderland. It was a bit overwhelming for William who chose to be sat with me in the hall the entire time but it was amazing watching all the kids have a ball.

I worry about going to places like this with William incase parents make comments about him or he goes into full meltdown mode and they judge me for having a ‘naughty’ child but they were great and no one made us feel uncomfortable which for people that don’t know us is wonderful especially when we’ve learnt people close to us aren’t always that nice.

On his good days William has a big attachment to food. On his bad days he won’t eat at all but today wasn’t a bad day. As soon as the buffet was out he was there like a shot wanting popcorn. Thankfully Danielle and Simon have spent enough time with us to understand his attachment and happily gave him a plate full of popcorn.

I learnt today that William isn’t fond of the loudness that comes with lots of children who are in full blown party mode but he handled it so well. He rubbed his ears a lot but just cuddled up into my lap until they went back to play.

He even chose to eat a sandwich! Which is a massive deal for William as he never touches bread as he can’t handle the texture but a cheeky egg mayo sandwich called out to him and he just grabbed it and wolfed it down… well not just one but 3! I nearly cried. Something so silly as an egg sandwich brought a little tear to my eye.

Toward the end as he was getting tired he became grouchy and when I had to put his shoes back on so that we could leave he started hitting himself but thankfully this only lasted about 30 seconds. 🤞

I don’t know if any of you have seen the original Series of Unfortunate Events with Jim Carey but at one point William was hanging from the dining tables by his teeth doing a Sunny Baudelaire.
Not many parents have the pleasure of telling their child to stop eating the table. 🤣 We also narrowly avoided him biting into a balloon. 🎈

Once the party was over we went back to theirs to watch Harry open his presents and other than munching on a few envelopes William was content watching him and he enjoyed the rest of our day relaxing and playing with Harry’s trains. He is very comfortable with their little family which makes me feel less worried about his future and the level of understanding people have.

Today was definitely a really good day😊