Posted in Events & Holidays

Its our birthday! 🎈

And just like that, we turn 2 (well yesterday to be precise) 😊

It’s been a crazy 2 years, we’ve been read in 59 countries, we have 3 social media pages (links below), our story has been featured in online magazines, newspapers and other peoples blogs, there have been many ups and downs but sharing it with you all has made things so much easier and I am grateful to each and every one of our readers.

WORLD DOMINATION MAP

Here are the top 10 countries in which we are read in

  • United Kingdom 🇬🇧
  • USA 🇺🇸
  • Australia 🇦🇺
  • China 🇨🇳
  • Malta 🇲🇹
  • Ireland 🇮🇪
  • Spain 🇪🇸
  • Germany 🇩🇪
  • Canada 🇨🇦
  • Cambodia 🇰🇭

I think the best way to end our little celebratory post is to share our most popular posts in the last 2 years.

all our love 😘 M.x

Get new rants delivered directly to your inbox.

Please remember to check us out, and follow us on our social media pages 🙂

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/OurJOTS

Posted in Brief updates

Divorce

🎶 And now, the end is near. And so, I face the final curtain…

Divorce is something I never thought would happen to me, it sounds silly, doesn’t it? But when I got married, like most people, I thought it would be forever despite any issues that may have arisen. I accept that It’s a little bit of an old-fashioned notion, but I came from a very happy home with two parents, and I always envisioned I would have the same kind of home for my future children.

I’ve tried to remain private about the split between William’s dad and I, until now… you won’t be getting the gory details so ft that’s what you think this post is about, then I am sorry (but not sorry) to disappoint you as only my mom and future therapist are privy to that bit of information.

William’s dad and I met as we had just reached adulthood, we met at a party just like most people did back then because Facebook had only just become a thing and tinder didn’t exist. Fast forward six years and we were married, three more and we had William, another three and we were separated, a now a year on, here we are divorced. I’m a little sad as I hold the papers in my hand, not because we are not together but because it’s not something I never thought I would do, and I feel it has ruined my thoughts on marriage because let’s face it, we don’t meet someone and think ‘gosh, you would make a great first husband’ I mean if that was going to be my intention, I would have at least married an old rich guy first, here’s looking at you Anna Nicole. 🤣

I was very grateful that at the end of our relationship, William didn’t have full understanding of what was going on, he knew things were changing and it destroyed his routine, but he wasn’t as aware as most kids his age would have been and although I am grateful, I do wonder if that was good for William or not. I spent months trying to keep William in some form of a routine and if it wasn’t for that I don’t think I would have gotten through it, it gave me a purpose, a focus. I mean it failed as it was seven months of hell, constant meltdowns, and shutdowns… he didn’t want me, he wanted his dad and that hurt, William cried, and I cried. Not for the same reasons but the same hurt non-the-less.

As time has gone on, things are much easier and we co-parent really well but as I have said before it hasn’t always been easy and we had to work on it, some days it’s not easy at all, as we are both very different people to the ones we had been when we met, when we got married and even when we separated. We just don’t really know each other anymore and that’s okay.
William has two parents who love and adore him, who would walk over glass to make sure he didn’t have to, and I guess I can’t really ask for any more than that… Do I regret marrying William’s dad? Not for a moment because I wouldn’t have William, or Rusty 🐾 I have never for a moment regretted having William. Do I regret placing so much trust in some one? Maybe. Has it made me more guarded? Yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

William’s dad is perfectly happy with his girlfriend, and they have William on set nights at their house, I can only hope that she takes on William as if he were her own, that she will love and care for him when he is with his dad. I guess that’s all we can hope for, isn’t it? That when or if our children’s other parent moves on, that their partner is willing to take on board our child. I wanted to continue hating her but how can I? my son comes back from their house, clean, healthy, and happy, and she has a part in that. So, I am grateful to her. The situation in which she came about doesn’t affect her ability to be a good substitute maternal figure when I’m not there or maybe even one day his stepmom. None of this makes me any less William’s mom, it just means there are more people in this world who love him and that can never really be a bad thing.

I’m not sure how William’s dad feels about my partner spending so much time with his son, but I do hope that he could talk to me about it, if there was an issue because I know it’s not easy to think of someone else stepping into that role when you’re not there, but you have to think of it from a point of positivity and not a jealousy or anger. I am grateful that I have found someone to share my life with, when I didn’t think I would trust anyone enough again, let alone so soon. I am grateful that my someone perfectly complements my personality, that we can just have fun with each other because I’m not going to lie, I had forgotten what fun was. He’s a brilliant dad to Little Miss and its wonderful to witness and to be allowed to be a part of. They have embraced William and I just as much as we have embraced them, and I hope that continues for a very long time.

I will file these papers tonight with all my paperwork and it will be done… and I’m glad, albeit a bit sad but it is time to draw a line under it. It’s nice in a way to know I am no longer someone’s wife, to be able to go to bed tonight, in the arms of my boyfriend and to simply be his girlfriend is something I have been looking forward to since we started dating.

So tonight, I am saying goodbye to Mrs Buckley… but you know what they say ‘a wife is only a wife until the end of the marriage, but an ex-wife is for life’ 🤣

Get new rants delivered directly to your inbox.

Please remember to check us out, and follow us on our social media pages 🙂

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/OurJOTS

Posted in Emotions

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

Today’s topic of conversation inner turmoil is trust. I’m not sure why but its something thats been occupying my mind a lot recently and I thought that by writing about it, it may stop running around in my head rent free.

I think we have spoken about this before in many other posts but here we go again… Trust is a huge thing for me and many of you will know why, or at least have suspicions. I value truth above all else and it is something I live by, in many cases I can be too honest and it makes me a human version of marmite; people with either find it refreshing or irritating, love it or hate it, it’s just part of who I am unless it comes to William, I sometimes find it hard being honest when I need help and will just keep going, pretending all is fine and then will write on here about how hard it can be and people will reach out, why didn’t I ask for help? Sometimes it’s a pride thing, sometimes I think that if another mom can do it why can’t I, even though our children are very different. Any way I think I’m digressing from the subject at hand here…

In any relationship trust is one of the most important thigs whether it’s the trust between partners, the trust you have in the professionals and babysitters who look after your children, the trust between an employee and their employer and the trust your child has in you. Trust is something we have in many different variations, I have a trust in the battery on my laptop, that it won’t die on me whilst I am writing this. (Currently on 26% 🔋) My main thoughts today are what we do when that trust is broken, how we can overcome it? If we can overcome it? If my battery dies, I wont trust it to last next time its low and would bring my charger downstairs but what if it’s a person that breaks that trust?

A wise person told me that once trust is broken, any form of relationship will never be the same again. That’s not to say that things can’t be good again but just not the same and we can either accept that and try to move passed it or we can write off that person and make sure we are more guarded with the next.

Protecting yourself and your children from the pain that comes with deceit is important but is it possible to shield yourself too much? We have been let down by so many medical services, local authority departments and people that I wonder if we should ever trust someone in what they say again.

Trust isn’t just about lies but about the breaking of promises or failing do something you should do.

  • ‘The referral has gone through, Mrs Buckley’
  • ‘I know what I’m doing’
  • ‘I love you’
  • ‘He on the list of allocations Marie, I made sure of it’
  • ‘Your arse doesn’t look fat in those leggings’
  • ‘I’m not having an affair’
  • ‘It’s just a little needle, it doesn’t hurt’
  • ‘William will grow out of it’
  • ‘I’m ok’
  • ‘It’s fine’
  • ‘I’ve chased the referral’
  • ‘I understand how hard things are for you and I will help’
  • ‘I’ve just been for a drive’
  • ‘I can do it on my own’

And my favourite silent lie… a smile 🙂.

The list is pretty much endless, but how many lies is too many? When do you just walk away? When do you change doctors? Or professionals or cut people out that you can’t trust?

There are a few people in my life that I have implicitly trusted, even fewer in William’s life and it seems that I don’t really learn my lesson. I have misplaced faith in people that talk the talk but never back it up with anything of substance. People that tell me they are doing one thing but are really doing another and just try to placate me to stop an argument (that the truth would have prevented), to stop me legal action, or to mislead me into forgetting about my rights or prevent official complaints. I think the last few years has taught me to question everything and everyone, and I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do.
Give people the opportunity to lie to you and if they don’t, it tells you something about their character or even their professional ethics but if they do… you have to make a decision. Was it a lie? Was it broken promise or a failure of duty? What ramifications did it have? Can you trust that person to continue in their usual capacity in your lives?

Can you forget about it? Can trust ever be fully rebuilt?

I guess that’s the big questions isn’t it?

P.s, My battery is at 9%

Get new rants delivered directly to your inbox.

Please remember to check us out, and follow us on our social media pages 🙂

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/ourjourneyontothespectrum/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/OurJOTS