Posted in Emotions

Fog

I’m not really sure about where to start with this post… I’ve had a bit of a block recently. I’ve been updating our Facebook page but not much else. I guess I’m a little blocked.

It’s not that I have nothing to write about but more than I can’t put things into focus. The best way I can describe it, is that my head is fuzzy.

I’m finding it difficult to understand how I am feeling, why I am feeling certain ways and I’m not really thinking rationally about day to day things. I’ve not hidden it, I’ve been honest about how I’m feeling and some days I can feel the fog lifting.

I didn’t want any of my fuzziness to infect my posts which is why I have been a little M.I.A recently. Writing things down is my way of processing things, I don’t share everything I write as some of it is just to vent but recently my writing hasn’t been consistent, it hasn’t been cathartic when I jot things down, uts been irratic and angry and I don’t know why.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we are ok, William is thriving at school, Liam and I are doing great and we are now living together. Little Miss is still as sassy as ever, Sundays are still days for Big Nanna and the world is still turning.

Hopefully the fog lifts soon and I can get back to some more consistent and therapeutic writing but until then look out for sparodic posts that may not be on track with my usual style of writing.

Much love, M xx

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Posted in school

Sports day

When I think about sports days when I was a child, I think about playing football, buying tickets on the tombola, a table selling sweets, having a ticket to get my pre-chosen burger or hotdog 🌭 and running races against my classmates. As the token fat kid, I never came first but apparently according to Miss Daybell it was the taking part that counted πŸ™„

Liam and I went to the same primary school so this week as we have counted down to Williams first sports day, we have enjoyed reminiscing about our childhood and our sports days, our favourite teachers and activities. Sadly Williams dad and his partner couldn’t make it but there will always be next year.

I’m not sure what I expected Williams sports day to be like. I only had my own to compare it to and it wasn’t like that at all. I guess comparing sports day from a mainstream 90s primary and a specialist modern primary wasn’t a good idea but I do find it hard to stop myself. I guess I just expected more structure.

Now don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed it and it was lovely to be able to spend sometime with him in his school environment and see all the children in his class. I wanted to get to know the kids he spends 5 days a week with and hopefully understand more about William and how he interacts with them but sadly William showed me that he doesn’t really interact with them at all. He showed no interest in any of his peers at all. In fact he wasn’t really interested in me and was more interested in rough and tumble play with Liam.

Sports day dance session.

The kids moved from activity to activity and each one was utter carnage but in the best way. They were just being themselves, William collected the cones (In lieu of a net) during Volleyball, other children were pulling the curtains back and forth, one kept turning out the lights and it was great to see that they have that freedom to enjoy themselves rather than restrained by curriculum or harsh rules.

Playing Volleyball aka collecting cones 🀣

I guess the one thing that hasn’t changed since the sports days of my youth is that the heavens opened up and the remainder of the sports day was cancelled 🌧

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Posted in Appointments

Precautionary

Poorly kids are the worst! 😭 Actually, I take that back… a 7 and a half hour wait in our local children’s A&E is the worst.

William hasn’t been feeling well since the end of February when he got his first (of many) cases for tonsillitis. Antibiotics didn’t clear it after the first dose finished so 5 days later we were back at doctors for a second dose. 3 days after the second dose ended he was still poorly so on Monday his dad and I took him back to the doctors (I feel like we’ve seen them that much recently that they’re going to invite us round for dinner at Christmas 😳) the doctor said he was fine but tonsils still a bit sore but no longer infected, the give him pain relief and he would be fine.

Fast forward to Friday and I have to take him to chemist as he has conjunctivitis because let’s be honest, it never rains, its pours 🌧 Drops received and starting to be administered, let bare in mind that my shoulder has gone again so I’m fine this one handed… its not easy even with two hands. Friday evening William was lethargic, hot to touch and clingy and he had barely eaten or drank all day…Not to mention the waterfall of slimy vomit that came out of his mouth and all over me. Honestly it’s like my kid aims for me when he’s sick 😫

Like any parent I was worried and ring my own mom for advice and then rang 111 who told me to take him into A&E as soon as possible as a precaution. Luckily I have some amazing friends who are used to being on standby when it comes to getting William places in a hurry.

We arrived at A&E at 8.15pm. It was busy, super busy. Kids were screaming, adults were moaning really loudly about how long they had been waiting etc. One parent told me it was going to be a 5 hours wait… she was wrong 😭

I want to talk about the waiting room, firstly the chairs are not built for 7 and a half hour waits with a gimpy arm. But that’s not my gripe… my issue is how unfriendly the waiting room is for a child like William. The lights are super bright and loud, some of them were flickering.the waiting room is busy with colour. Lots of different colours and sparkly fish hanging from the ceiling and the air con is loud. For an autistic child with sensory processing disorder that is a lot to take in for a lengthy period of time. It’s a difficult wait for most children but I’m sure other towns have sensory rooms for children like William. I’m almost sure the eye hospital next door has one or were at least trying to raise funds for one. It was also a nightmare that only one person could accompany each child, I understand that there is a limit on space but William needs to be restrained to be examined and unfortunately its not ideal with two arms let alone one.

Anyway that’s my moan over… the nurses who triaged us were brilliant. So patient with William and understanding. The doctor we saw was also amazing. Thankfully William just has a viral infection which will pass with calpol and time and even though the wait was long and painful I’m glad we went. I’m glad I made the 111 call and followed their advice because really you just never know with any child what is wrong but when they can’t tell you, it’s so much worse.

Hopefully he will be better soon and can enjoy his last 2 days of nursery next week. 🀞

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