Posted in Events & Holidays

Happy birthday Harry!

Today was a great day! Today was Harry’s birthday party; the first party William has been invited to. I do worry that he won’t get many invites as he gets older due to his antisocial behaviour and his tendency to become overwhelmed.

I’m not going to lie to you as that isn’t what this blog is about. As you can guess today like most days started out badly. William had smeared the contents of his nappy everywhere 🤢 and when I tried to change him he repeatedly hit me with shitty hands and when I tried to stop him he bit me. I had to wake up David to help… not what he needed after a night shift but needs must😴 Breakfast wasn’t eaten, well not by William anyway. Rusty thoroughly enjoyed his toast this morning and William enjoyed trying to take a chunk out of my leg when I dared to take his plate away.

Once we were out of the house things took a much better turn. William was calm and happy which is always my favourite version of him. Don’t get me wrong I love every version of him but this one is just amazing. The happiness in his face is one of the purest things I have ever seen and even now when I hear his little laugh I well up a bit.

The party itself was at Hull Community Church which I must say was a brilliant venue. They have an amazing play area in the back which is like a imagination role play wonderland. It was a bit overwhelming for William who chose to be sat with me in the hall the entire time but it was amazing watching all the kids have a ball.

I worry about going to places like this with William incase parents make comments about him or he goes into full meltdown mode and they judge me for having a ‘naughty’ child but they were great and no one made us feel uncomfortable which for people that don’t know us is wonderful especially when we’ve learnt people close to us aren’t always that nice.

On his good days William has a big attachment to food. On his bad days he won’t eat at all but today wasn’t a bad day. As soon as the buffet was out he was there like a shot wanting popcorn. Thankfully Danielle and Simon have spent enough time with us to understand his attachment and happily gave him a plate full of popcorn.

I learnt today that William isn’t fond of the loudness that comes with lots of children who are in full blown party mode but he handled it so well. He rubbed his ears a lot but just cuddled up into my lap until they went back to play.

He even chose to eat a sandwich! Which is a massive deal for William as he never touches bread as he can’t handle the texture but a cheeky egg mayo sandwich called out to him and he just grabbed it and wolfed it down… well not just one but 3! I nearly cried. Something so silly as an egg sandwich brought a little tear to my eye.

Toward the end as he was getting tired he became grouchy and when I had to put his shoes back on so that we could leave he started hitting himself but thankfully this only lasted about 30 seconds. 🤞

I don’t know if any of you have seen the original Series of Unfortunate Events with Jim Carey but at one point William was hanging from the dining tables by his teeth doing a Sunny Baudelaire.
Not many parents have the pleasure of telling their child to stop eating the table. 🤣 We also narrowly avoided him biting into a balloon. 🎈

Once the party was over we went back to theirs to watch Harry open his presents and other than munching on a few envelopes William was content watching him and he enjoyed the rest of our day relaxing and playing with Harry’s trains. He is very comfortable with their little family which makes me feel less worried about his future and the level of understanding people have.

Today was definitely a really good day😊

Posted in Events & Holidays

Jingle Hell 🔔

Christmas is a hard time for kids like William, kids who can’t take on board change and who become overwhelmed easily. His weeks are usually as structured as we can get them to prevent meltdowns or what I like to call ‘hunger strikes’ he ends up so upset and out of sorts he won’t eat anything and anyone that has witnessed William with a Sunday dinner knows this is a big thing for him to refuse. His nursery will give him second helpings of all his meals to stop him taking other peoples… I think I should be embarrassed of this, but he definitely takes after me 🤣

MondayDad takes him to nursery
TuesdayDad takes him to nursery
WednesdayOne on one time with dad and then grandad
ThursdayOne on one time with Mummy
FridayOut and about with Mummy
SaturdayFree for all or a trip with Danielle
SundayVisit Big Nan

William hasn’t been to nursery since 23rd December and isn’t due back until the 6th January. I hope returning won’t set him off as much as not going has as he is only just calming down.

Christmas eve was fine. We went to spend time with Harry so they could hopefully wear each other out and William was almost well behaved except the usual, eating paper, throwing food on the floor and trying to destroy all Harrys toys but on the night he slept like an angel. 👼🏻

Best buddies

Christmas day was a completely different scenario. As we go to my parents it means he needs to get up much earlier than usual which never goes down well, especially as on a Wednesday he usually gets a lie in.

He didn’t want any breakfast or chocolate… yes, I’m a bad mom by trying to bribe him to eat and I’m not ashamed but even that couldn’t tempt him.He opened a few gifts and wasn’t interested after the paper was gone and then decided he had had enough and didn’t want to open any more. Didn’t want to get dressed. Didn’t want to leave the house. Needless to say, we were late to my parents. ⏰

I guess we didn’t help the situation and our living room was a massive sensory overload. I didn’t even think about how he would react. I just thought about how as a kid I was always absolutely buzzed to see all my new toys at once and couldn’t wait to start tearing things open or playing with them. William was absolutely spoilt and not just by us; there was outdoor equipment, a wooden kitchen, a train table, a bubble tube and so much more! That little feeling of pride burned inside me. We did this. We shopped around and bought bits all year. We have well and truly outdone ourselves with Christmas this year! But that’s was the problem. It was more for me than William, next year will be different as I know I was selfish by giving him too much. That wasn’t for him. That was to make me feel better. Next year I will do my best to ensure Christmas is focused on what my child wants and not what I think any child wants as there is a big difference.

Boxing day was a blur and we went to see William’s Great Nan in her nursing home. William didn’t eat all day and wasn’t interested in his Great Nan. It can be heart-breaking as I know Dave would love to see William cuddle his G.Nan and acknowledge her but he just isn’t wired that way.

By the 28th he was eating properly (also classed as ravenously) and seemed to have settled. He has slept so well for the first time since Christmas eve and he must have been running on fumes and frustration since then. I literally thank god that he is getting back to himself but then panic sets in as I don’t want him used to this kind of routine as it isn’t a routine at all.

And now we are on to today, New years day 2020! The family are all together except Dave who must work, and William is his usual happy self. He’s laughing, playing and cuddly. He eats his dinner (and mine) two desserts and then some. 🍽🍽🍰 and now we are at home and he is fast sleep.

Happy new year William!

Our new years resolutions as a family

  • Be open and honest about William and his progress (we started this one early)
  • Continue to be proactive in fighting for Williams referrals and needs
  • Spend more time as a family
  • Come off my medication

I have been on antidepressants for over 18 months and I finally feel in a place where I am ready to come off them. I understand and accept my child, I am happily married to man who would walk over broken glass for us, I have a new job that makes me happy to go to work and I have a wonderful support network. I had almost all these things before however there were so many changes in my life I couldn’t handle it.

This last year or even decade hasn’t been easy for us as a family but 2020 is going to be our year. We started our journey in 2019 and are fully prepared to stay on the ride.

To be honest we wouldn’t have it any other way! 👪