Posted in Events & Holidays

It’ll be lonely this Christmas 🎄

Any of you that have read past posts will be aware that I love and hate Christmas, there is no inbetween for me, I love time off work, spending time with the Hobman clan, giving presents, having copious amounts of chocolate in the house and even my dad making the same jokes he’s made for the last 10 years… (Kaylee and her heelies – they lasted 5 whole minutes…. up and down the drive once, where all the rubbish will go and how we would each have to take some home and the fact my mom’s turkey is dry) I’m honestly surprised that my mom hasn’t chinned him.🤣

I was genuinely looking forward to this Christmas, last Christmas our family was separated due to the government restrictions just like many others across the world, so it made this Christmas that bit more special. There are four generations of us: big nanna, my mom and dad, me and H and then William and Kaylee.

Williams letter from the fat man 🎅

Everything was planned to the finest detail, William would spend Christmas eve with his dad, come home for bedtime, read his letter from Father Christmas and his usual Santa book ‘Santa comes to Hull’.

As you can see, it’s been a tradition since the year he was born. x

I always sneak in a cheeky reading of ‘the night before Christmas’ as its my guilty pleasure. Christmas day, we would try to take things at William pace, I would be dressed and ready before he woke up, breakfast and then gifts before letting him chill out and finally setting off to my parents for lunch and family time… but that didn’t happen.

What do you do when your sons dad messages you saying he’s got covid and its Christmas eve and he’s got your son? Again, I shouldn’t have to say it, but this isn’t a post in which I slate William’s dad. Although when I read that message, there were a few expletives running round my head purely because of the ramifications of his message but I wish him no harm and hope that he and his girlfriend recover quickly, mainly because I need childcare for when I go back to work in January (Jokes 🤣)

After having a cry and getting angry, I made the decision to stay home with William in order to protect my loved ones. My family are all vaccinated and boosted but I just couldn’t take the risk, especially with big nanna. I would never have forgiven myself if she caught it from us.

William and I have been doing lateral flows each morning and so far, both have come back negative and hopefully they stay that way but I will keep you posted. 🤞 I’m not going to lie, it was a really difficult decision to make, not only did it mean I couldn’t be with my family on Christmas, but it also meant I couldn’t spend Christmas eve with L. Our first Christmas together and we couldn’t see each other until late Christmas night so that he could reduce the risk for family too.

I think Mud had it right when they said ‘It’ll be lonely this Christmas’ because it really was… William seemed to have a great day though. We opened presents, ate chocolates, and generally made a mess of my very clean house (only because I was manic cleaning Christmas eve as if Santa was a house inspector🧼)
William was a little overwhelmed as there were new things in the living room but because there was no panic or rush to be out the door, he could just take things at his own pace and seemed to enjoy exploring his new things. We even had all the presents open before lunch, except for the ones L brought on the evening.

I’m sure I said this last year but next Christmas is going to be the best one yet… At least I hope so x

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Posted in Events & Holidays

Autism Night Before Christmas – by Cindy Waeltermann

Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
The creatures were stirring
Yes, even the mouse
We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
But the holiday jitters
They always distract
The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When nightmares of terror
Ran through my OWN head
Did I get the right gift
The right color
And style
Would there be a tantrum
Or even, maybe, a smile?
Our relatives come
But they don’t understand
The pleasure he gets
Just from flapping his hands.
“He needs discipline,” they say
“Just a well-needed smack,
You must learn to parent…”
And on goes the attack
We smile and nod
Because we know deep inside
The argument is moot
Let them all take a side
We know what it’s like
To live with the spectrum
The struggles and triumphs
Achievements, regressions…
But what they don’t know
And what they don’t see
Is the joy that we feel
Over simplicity
He said “hello”
He ate something green!
He told his first lie!
He did not cause a scene!
He peed on the potty
Who cares if he’s ten,
He stopped saying the same thing
Again and again!
Others don’t realize
Just how we can cope
How we bravely hang on
At the end of our rope
But what they don’t see
Is the joy we can’t hide
When our children with autism
Make the tiniest stride
We may look at others
Without the problems we face
With jealousy, hatred
Or even distaste,
But what they don’t know
Nor sometimes do we
Is that children with autism
Bring simplicity.
We don’t get excited
Over expensive things
We jump for joy
With the progress work brings
Children with autism
Try hard every day
That they make us proud
More than words can say.
They work even harder
Than you or I
To achieve something small
To reach a star in the sky
So to those who don’t get it
Or can’t get a clue
Take a walk in my shoes
And I’ll assure you
That even 10 minutes
Into the walk
You’ll look at me
With respect, even shock.
You will realize
What it is I go through
And the next time you judge
I can assure you
That you won’t say a thing
You’ll be quiet and learn,
Like the years that I did
When the tables were turned……

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Posted in Events & Holidays

Inclusion pt.2

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about inclusion, today I want to do a little follow up… specifically about pretending to be inclusive.

SEN sessions seem to be available for most places, trampoline parks, splash zones, swimming pools, ice skating etc, it’s a wonderful thing but let’s talk about the ‘inclusivity’ of it, theses are great ways to include our community for certain functions, but they aren’t inclusive at all.

These sessions are usually available at times in which it is not possible for most to attend due to school, unless I am mistaken SEN stands for special educational needs… education been a priority meaning these sessions during term time (in some places they are term time only) in a morning is just not practical, it’s a great promotion I suppose. ‘Look at what we are doing for our SEN kids!’ when not actually making it inclusive at all. When questioned the responses are… ‘well if it proves popular we will look at opening more sessions and time’ it’s a bit backwards isn’t it? A bit of a cop out.

Some places do it a bit better and offer more inclusive times, but most do not. Hull city council, I’m talking to you now specifically. You go from one end of the scale to the other, during school hours or encroaching on bedtime, I know I make it sound like you can’t win but why not open up a peak slot? Take a risk and be inclusive!

SEN swimming at Woodford leisure centre – 6.30pm – 8.30pm

SEN skating at the ice arena – 9.30am – 10.30am

Companies do not have to do anything tailored to SEN or disabled kids and the fact they do is admirable but they fall into thee same traps the HCC do, school times or bedtimes and its not far, I understand you can’t please everyone and at the moment these times suit William with him still been without a school place but what about all the kids fortunate enough to be in school… why should they miss out?

During the summer half term, sessions were opened for SEN swimming, and it proved to be so popular that it sold out completely. Surely this is an indication if not a massive fucking sign that these kinds of events can be profitable for businesses and the council but yet they are so few and far between that’s its insulting.

And don’t even get me started on trying to find an autism friendly showing at the cinema, I have spent ages this morning looking at all 4 (Odeon, Vue, Cineworld & Reel) of my local cinemas and haven’t been able to find a single one and when I say that, I don’t mean that I couldn’t find one suitable for William, I mean that I can’t find one at all! Maybe I’m not looking for the right terms but it shouldn’t be this difficult, should it?

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Posted in Events & Holidays

It’s beginning to look a lot like… the end of November

Its that time of year, people have started putting their Christmas decorations up and I excitedly point them out to William hoping to see some kind of flash of recognition or magic in his eyes but there is nothing, but that doesn’t mean it will always be this way and I cling to that. This is going to be Williams fifth Christmas which means as per our tradition it will be his fifth Christmas Mickey toy and this year, I will start the tradition for Little Miss.

I was always a self-confessed scrooge; Christmas was never like it was portrayed in the movies and it always fell short of my expectations. There was no snow on the ground, we didn’t have a house full of people, all happy and playing board games. Don’t get me wrong, as a child our Christmases were magical… ‘Santa’ would fill little stockings outside our bedroom doors, and I would excitedly run into H’s bedroom. ‘he’s been!’ I would scream and the excitement would begin.
We weren’t allowed downstairs until my mom had been to pick up big nanna so we would sit on the top step waiting to hear the car pull into the driveway.
‘Santa’ always delivered except if it was something noisy… like the Christmas of 92 when H was severely disappointed at not getting a Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles whistle. Apparently, it was sold out, but mom and dad didn’t want something so noisy in the house so got her a ball instead haha🏀

I’m a weirdo and love giving presents to people, I love thinking about what I feel people will appreciate and putting thought and love into gifts and then seeing their faces when they open them. On the flip side and this definitely makes me a hypocrite, I am a terrible person to buy for, I hate receiving gifts and being expected to open them in front of people, purely because I cannot hide my reactions… my face always gives me away. My girlfriends and I do a Secret Santa every year and I flat out refuse to open mine, mainly because on Christmas day, I don’t really have a lot to open but also so that I can do it in private. Birthdays are the same too. I am super grateful to anyone that thinks enough of me and is generous enough to buy a gift, but I like the privacy of opening them alone.

William’s Christmases aren’t like the movies, or the ones I had as a kid, but we adapt to suit the kind of Christmas he needs, and we try to make it as special for him as he can handle. Separation can be hard as it usually involves two Christmases and two birthdays, but William can only just cope with one. Thankfully me and his dad are on the same page and can make plans which suit William without it turning into an all-out war and I’m grateful for that.

Last year despite the covid restrictions, William had what I can only describe as our first peaceful Christmas; everything was done at his pace… there was no rushing and no expectations. Peace and joy for all.

My tree is not yet up as I don’t know how William will handle it due to his pica and his obsessive need to eat objects, for the last few years I’ve ran interference but it’s not getting any easier. Putting my tree up is magical to me; it’s the same tree we had as children, so it brings back many happy memories for me putting on all the old but very loved ornaments and seeing them incorporated with our own newer ones.  I think my favourite is a little green one which is half open and contains the three wise men, I mean… I think they are the tree wise men, but they are so worn that they could be miniature figures of the Bee Gees. Staying alive on my Christmas tree 😂

My stand-alone ornaments have long been abandoned and are currently sat gathering dust in my spare bedroom/office, I think I may donate them to a charity shop as I imagine they will sell this time of year and I often like to take William’s old clothes and toys in for them to be sold for a good purpose and go to a good home. I used to try and sell things on Facebook but it’s not worth it as everyone wants something for nothing whether they can afford it or not.

I guess what I really want to say to you all, is enjoy the up coming festive season in any which way you decide to celebrate it.

All my love 😘 M.x

Posted in Events & Holidays

Its our birthday! 🎈

And just like that, we turn 2 (well yesterday to be precise) 😊

It’s been a crazy 2 years, we’ve been read in 59 countries, we have 3 social media pages (links below), our story has been featured in online magazines, newspapers and other peoples blogs, there have been many ups and downs but sharing it with you all has made things so much easier and I am grateful to each and every one of our readers.

WORLD DOMINATION MAP

Here are the top 10 countries in which we are read in

  • United Kingdom 🇬🇧
  • USA 🇺🇸
  • Australia 🇦🇺
  • China 🇨🇳
  • Malta 🇲🇹
  • Ireland 🇮🇪
  • Spain 🇪🇸
  • Germany 🇩🇪
  • Canada 🇨🇦
  • Cambodia 🇰🇭

I think the best way to end our little celebratory post is to share our most popular posts in the last 2 years.

all our love 😘 M.x

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Posted in Events & Holidays

The Hobman Holiday

It was that time of year again, the annual family holiday. The stress, the anxiety, the tears and that’s just me whilst trying to pack our bags 🤣

It was a new beginning this year as it was a pureblood adventure, cheeky Harry potter reference there 😜 Mom and Dad, with their two kids Me and H and our two kids Kaylee and William.
each year our numbers have dwindled, my dad jokes that the holiday metaphorically kills people off… he was fearful for his life, if mom hasn’t got rid of him in over 40 years, i think he may be safe 😂 It sounds crazy but this was my favourite trip yet and we have being doing it since 2017. I climbed the ingleton waterfall walk whilst pregnant with William. If you haven’t done it, please check it out by clicking here as it is beautiful.

Just like last year William loved stream walking, last year we went slightly later in the year and he had to be fully clothed, warm and in wellies but this year I got him some aqua shoes from amazon which were amazing as it meant he could scramble over rocks in the water. Kaylee was brave and they both went in, in bare feet 😮 Nanna planned on keeping her feet dry but William had other ideas and dragged her in with him but me on the other hand was all in, as you can see my feet are full submerged… I was not wearing aqua shoes; my sketchers will never be the same!

Swimming in Ingletons outdoor pool is always a highlight for me and sadly last year it wasn’t open due to Covid but this year it had undergone a refurbishment and was open, we took full advantage and booked it privately. If you are in the area (maybe after the waterfall walk 😉) check it out, here’s the info. The pool is kept amazingly clean and has disabled changing facilities which made getting William ready and changed afterwards a dream. The staff as always were super friendly and helpful.
I worried about Williams bowel problems meaning we couldn’t swim as irs super difficult to find swim nappies in his size, I mean look at the issues we had with standard nappies 🙄 however there is website called splash about which sell specialised wetsuits without the specialised price. check it out here. William is modelling the ‘Jammer wetsuit in cobalt blue’ the website claims that this is the first and only wetsuit to provide faecal leak protection 💩 well I am not sure if that statement is true but it does work and for less than £30 you can’t go wrong! I will definitely be buying the next size up when it’s needed.
The blow up life vest was an absolute waste of £13, not including the link as I wouldn’t want anyone else to waste their money. It claims to be designed for children ages 3-6 years but was huge on William who is 4 and a half despite tightening the straps as far as they would go. I also deemed it unsafe as it kept tipping him upside down which meant he could have no independence in the water. To add insult to injury, the material was so thin that William bit through it within 15 minutes so it got abandoned in the pool bin.

I want to talk about something that happened after swimming when we went for a cream tea to celebrate H’s birthday, something that happens a lot… I would like to throw out that I do not currently have a blue parking badge for William but I have applied for one and until I receive it we are not eligible to park in disabled spaces so we don’t however it does make parking in standard size spaces a nightmare, we try to get into a mother and child space but these aren’t always available. The place we chose for our cream tea is divine but doesn’t have mother and child spaces  so we pulled into 2 spaces whilst we unloaded william, his pram and the essentials (there were numerous other spaces available) the reason we did this was to protect the cars on either side whilst we remove Wiliam from the car as it can be difficult and he often kicks the car door which can cause damage to our car and those around us. I will reiterate her that there were numerous other spaces available. A “gentleman” and I use that word ironically decided to pull up behind us and comment on our parking, baring in mind it was easy to see we were trying to remove William from the car. There was only myself, William and my Mom there at that point. Firstly the “gent” had no reason to comment as there were multiple spaces and I personally think we were doing the right thing. He also commented when he thought it was two women on their own but shit himself when my dad stepped in who was in a car travelling behind us. Comments like this are the reason I suffer with anxiety when taking William out in the car (Baring in mind that I don’t drive so rely on other people) making comments to women on their own can be intimidating and this guy blatantly wasn’t aware my dad was with us and I genuinely believe that had my dad been visible at the time of his comment that he wouldn’t have made it.
There are too many people in this world that think its ok to make judgemental comments about others without knowing the full facts, you read about it all the time in the papers. people leaving notes on cars in disabled bays because they don’t look disabled or people commenting as people with hidden disabilities use disabled toilets. Its crazy that people think this is acceptable!

William did so well with his walking whilst we were away and because the cottage was at the end of a lane in the middle of nowhere, he had the freedom to walk at his own pace and explore his surroundings, he struggles walking when he has to be controlled because of traffic or needing to be somewhere at a certain time which is why we have asked for a referral to wheelchair services to try and get funding towards his own adapted stroller, however this was sent in september last year and we are still chasing it now 🙄 Just like everything else he needs.
Picture one is so special, I know it may not look it but it genuinely brought tears to my eyes. During our walk I was tickling his neck with a piece of wheat and when I threw it away he picked another one and passed me it so I would tickle him more… he is doing so well with his object exchange.

Sleepwise wasn’t ideal whilst away, I was sharing a room with William which meant I couldn’t go to sleep until he was asleep and I have to wake up when he woke. Unfortunately on the Wednesday he didn’t go to sleep until the 3am and then on the Friday woke up at 3am so needless to say, I need a holiday to recover from my holiday haha. He found great comfort in his tablet whilst away which he sadly broke however thanks to Amazon’s no worry warranty, he has a free of charge replacement due any day now.

The holiday as a whole was hugely successful and William did so well with the changes to his routine, he loved being with all his family and as always took a huge shine to his grandad. We got a little wet going out for our evening meal which threw William a little out of sorts (third pic) however he soon came round and enjoyed his dinner.

I won a bad parent award as I had accidentally packed a small pack of nappies by mistake, thankfully I have Amazon prime and was able to get some to us, not next day as we were the middle of nowhere but within 2 days which is pretty bloody brilliant. I felt like I had gone back in time having to pay for them again… honestly I was so angry with myself and don’t know what I would have done had I not been able to get any 😥

It was really nice to have some much needed family time after a year and a half of lockdowns, isolation, shielding etc and I look forward to doing it so much more often 🥰

I have a little confession to make, I started dating… I’ve spoken on here about how I don’t know if I would ever be ready or how to introduce someone to William but it just sort of happened in the most natural way. He’s an amazing person and William immediately took to him and his daughter which is more than I could have ever asked for.

I share a lot on here about Williams journey and how I handle things (or sometimes dont), but this is private for now. It’s happening, I’m very happy, as is William and that is all that matters.

Much love 😘, M. x

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Posted in Events & Holidays

Yule never guess what 🎄

Forgive the horrendous pun 🙏🏻 but I couldn’t resist.

What can I say about Christmas 2020? What can I say about 2020 in general that hasn’t already been said be everyone? I think this year I had more understanding of what William could and couldn’t handle at Christmas which made it easier for me to make sure he wasn’t overwhelmed.

Each christmas eve I have alway reads William ‘Santa comes to Hull’ I’m not sure why I made it a tradition as it wasn’t one I had as a child but I felt it made it a little special knowing he was on his way. This year William grabbed the book from me and and decided to show me it before I read it… Maybe one day he can read it to me 🥰

I’ve been poorly recently with a mega cold 😷 (100% NOT covid as I had a test) and an injured scapula so the preparations for christmas have been hard physically on top of the usual picking up and carrying William and then the emotional toll of it being my first Christmas alone as a single mom which… If I do say so myself I totally bossed it 💪🏼

Every year without fail we all have always had christmas dinner at my mom and dads house. Christmas isn’t christmas without my mom yelling at my dad to get out of the kitchen or telling us there isn’t room for all of us in the small room, my niece eating more than her share of after eights and my dad hovering round with a bin bag asking if anyone can take it home 🤣 and even more so… it isn’t christmas without big nan. The first lockdown kept us apart for 113 days… so far on this teir 3 we are at 66 days and counting. Thats almost half a year! 😲
I know the rules for christmas day were relaxed but it wasn’t fair to potentially put anyone at risk with William going to nursery, his dad visiting him but working, my sister working and my niece at school… we all felt we would rather we were all here next year to celebrate properly (I’ve also told my mom she has to cook christmas dinner for us all once its safe to do so even if it is summer 🦃 BBQ turkey will not be accepted)

William came down christmas morning and started playing with some of his toys and opening some gifts at his own pace. When this got too overwhelming for him, he retreated upstairs and laid on his bed floor for a little bit until it was time to leave the house. My sister thankfully allowed William and I to go for dinner (the covid test probably helped in that decision😂)

Before I had William I hated Christmas and as William doesn’t usually cope with the festivities I was getting this way again but this year I realised I love it, I love the opportunity to see all our family whilst we aren’t working, to eat good food and just be happy. I think Christmas 2021 will be appreciated so much more than any before it by everyone.

William really enjoyed his christmas dinner and when I say that what I actually mean is he actually ate it this year and pudding too 🍰… I hope his nanna doesn’t take this personally against hers especially after my dads comments last year #dry 😂
We took some of his sensory toys and his tablet so that he could freely do what keeps him happy such as watching ‘Little Baby Bum’ on netflix and biting things 😁 The reason his does this is for oral stimulation… If i’m not careful he tries to eat the fluff on my dressing gown, paper, dog food or his own poop 🤮. I do think William may have an eating disorder called Pica which is relatively common in those with autism or developmental conditions.

When we got home he was ready for round two of presents 🎁 and to spend some time with his dad, which was nice as he got to see him open some gifts too.
We ate left over buffet from christmas eve (yes we had room and no I didn’t cook it; it was a cheeky morrisons order) and relaxed in our new PJ’s until bed time.

Williams weighted blanket from big nan was a smash hit but he wouldn’t share it with me, in fact when I tried to cover myself with my own blanket he decided I wasn’t allowed that either😲

Overall this Christmas (year even) wasn’t the one anyone imagined we would be having but to me its given me a whole new appreciation for the festive season and how important it is to spend time with your family. I’m not saying that this time next year I wont be writing a ‘Jingle Hell… Pt.2’ based on last years post but I think I am more prepared now, I can see what triggers William’s meltdowns and can try to prevent them in advance.

I really hope you all had a wonderful christmas or at least got very drunk to block it out🍾
We will all have a re-do for 2021 and it will be the most magical christmas any of us have known, wouldn’t it be amazing if it was a white christmas too ⛄

Its approximately 28 hours until we can say goodbye to this terrible year, I am still working hard on my Understanding Autism level 2 so I may not get the chance to wish you all a happy new year after today but remember, it can not be any worse than this year.
Much Love M. x 😘

Posted in Events & Holidays, Thank You

Happy 1st Birthday!

It’s our first birthday here at Ourjourneyontothespectrum.com and what a year it has been!

We have reached 40 countries! 40!!! so I love a good bit of Maths, If I were to travel to every country in which I have been read I would be in the air for 12 days, 17 hours and 30 mins. 🛫🌍🛬

Our top 10 countries to be read in are as follows (How has this even happened😲)
* United Kingdom
* United States
* China
* Australia
* Germany
* Malta
* Canada
* France
* Philippines
* Ukraine

There has been 60 blog posts, 3 social media pages, lots of tears and even more support.

Thank you to everyone who has read, shared or reached out. You have no idea how much it means to us.

All our love😘, M & W xx

Posted in Events & Holidays

Family Holiday

As many of you will be aware we have recently been on a big family holiday for the first time in 2 years and as you can imagine things with William have changed greatly since our last vacation.
I love getting together with our family but as anyone will be aware it can be stressful; throw an autistic child in the mix and it can be nuclear which meant my stress levels peaked before we had even left the house.
‘What can he cope without?’
‘What if he smears whilst we are there?’
‘What if he cant handle it being around so many people?’

I know it sounds a little crazy as my mum and dad were there and he loves them both so much and my dad will babysit when I was office based, my sister and niece were there and he loves his Auntie Nellen (or H to everyone else, the letter H doesn’t exist in Kingston upon Ull. ⚙Yes the cog used to be our logo 🙄) Big nanna came for the first time and we all know what an amazing bond they have and finally his Uncle Jim and lets face it unless he has to change a nappy he is amazing with him (if we ignore the fact he’s banged Williams head more times than Rick Allen has banged his drums🥁)

Here are some of my favourite pictures from the week 🥰🥰🥰

Picture 1 – We were delighted to be able to borrow a freeloader carrier which personally is amazing for parents of children with special needs to be able to safely carry them to areas you would not be able to get to with a stroller or wheelchair. Unlike a baby carrier it has a seat on an reinforced hinge which means that when your child sits on it the straps are not brutally cutting into your flesh due to the weight of your lump child. Its a big expense as they are imported from America but I would honestly say they are definitely worth it and we will eventually be looking at getting one of our own 💸💸💸
Click here to check them out

Picture 2 – We’ve discussed on previous posts about Williams refusal to walk and lack of awareness when it comes to roads. Here is a prime example. We had walked for less than 2 minutes and William collapsed in the road. He makes himself go floppy so he is impossible to grab onto and will just lay wherever he has fallen an believe me he is more slippery than a bar of soap and his limbs just slide through your hands. 🧼

Picture 3 – William love bubbles but hates bath time 🛁 so after a traumatic bath which was much needed as he decided to sit in the stream we left all the bubbles in the tub for him to lay and play in. Dave took so many photos and Big Nanna sat in a chair watching him have the time of his life and I’m so glad she got to see that as she had witnessed a meltdown at the beginning of the week which I will talk about later.

Picture 4 – Dave loves the walks up in the dales and has climbed the peaks and everything… Me; no so much. My version of exercise is walking to fridge or picking up my phone to order on just eat. 🍕 We decided to spend one of our days in our little 3 person bubble and went to explore the village. Whilst sat with his dad on the bank of a deep stream William lost a one of his Wellies over the edge and Dave had to go in and fetch it… as you can see no shits were given by William at all and he is actually calmly sat on grass which is a big improvement.

Picture 5 – Dave referred to this table as a 70’s party table due to its mirrored surface. William had his first little holiday romance… with himself. It’s like he discovered his reflection for the first time and spent a good amount of his time kissing his reflection 😘 William doesn’t quite understand what a kiss is and his version is coming at your mouth with his mouth open and there is always a risk you will get bitten but its worth it, I would take a million bites for one kiss.

Picture 6 – He loved the streams that ran though the village and we went in for splashes at every opportunity. We learnt a few things on these mini adventures. My wellies had holes in (they were about 10 years old), William loves the running water and decided to wade as far as we would let him, to the point the water was over his wellies so I wasn’t the only one with wet feet and finally that he will literally just sit anywhere including in said stream 😂 It made the short walk back to cottage much longer, wetter and colder.

William had one meltdown whilst we were away and unfortunately it was the worst we have experienced so far. He went red and started screaming and repeatedly hitting himself in the face with both his hands clenched together 😢 It hurts me to see him so distressed however I now know not to try and restrain him as it makes it much worse.
Big nanna has never experienced a full meltdown and it really frightened her. I could see it in her eyes and asking me to stop him hitting himself and asking me what was wrong and to be honest I couldn’t work it out. He has been to toilet, he had eaten well and nothing he hadn’t eaten before, he had his favourite toys and Hey Duggee was on the TV. I don’t know if it was the new environment or he just wasn’t feeling himself but it really frightened her which upset me alot.

I think being told about the way someone reacts due to their additional needs is very different from seeing it first hand.
Autism in a spectrum which is so vast and complicated it is difficult for people to understand, even those who are close to someone with ASD don’t fully understand the possibilities or the limitiations and it can make explaining them exhausting 🥱

Some things never change…

The journey home was uneventful as you can see from the above picture the journey home was uneventful, either that or they just didn’t think much to mine and H’s music choices 🎶

William missed his friends back home and Rusty which was evident because as soon as he saw each of them he was so happy. He practically ran straight to our next door neighbours for cuddles, my pets and child are all starting to think they live there 😂 but in all seriousness I actually love it. He has an amazing bond with the full family and I trust the girls to take him to park and be safe with him and it takes alot for me let anyone do that. He was sat on the roundabout in park and quietly ate his packed lunch as it went round when some older kids (secondary school) asked one of the girls to make him move and she told them no, he has problems and he’s happy where he is and they just left. She has more balls than I think I would have done.

One of our other neighbours got back from their holidays today and as you can see William missed them that much he sat in their car and made himself comfortable.
GTA eat your heart out 🚗

As always much love, The Buckleys 😘

Posted in Events & Holidays

Happy Birthday William! 🎈

How the hell are you three already? It feels like yesterday I held you in my arms for the first time (and then proceeded to throw up everywhere 🤮)
Three years down the line and we still sneak into your room to check you are breathing, although usually we can hear you snoring from the landing now😴
That’s 1095 days (1096 since this year was a leap year) of you. Every day filled with the joy we feel at being parents to such a loving little boy. Every one of those days teaches us something new about you and the world you creating for yourself.
You have made us become stronger parents and people than we ever thought we could be. We have learnt to fight for what is needed for you or even us as a family.

Its been a weird year. Its been a year of acceptance and education for us as parents; this time last year we were both in denial about Williams issues and we struggled to even speak to each other about it. Phrases like ‘He’s just lazy’, ‘He can hear you but he’s just ignorant’ or explaining away his missed milestones ‘Well he is very top heavy with his little bobble head’ (still true but not an excuse just a trait from the Hobman gene pool 🤣)
This time last year we were preparing for the 2 year check and the questionnaire had not yet arrived… but when it did we had a moment of clarity that all parents should have and agreed to be brutally honest about what he can and cant do. We filled it in with pencil and rubbed out so many times. We both took the time off work to make sure we could go together and keep each other honest. It was hard. Those of you that have reading this since we started it will have travelled with us on that journey and felt what we felt. Cried when we cried and gotten angry when we have.
We have had meetings about meetings, meetings about plans and a few meetings which actually resulted in action.

When we moved house in summer we decided to put Williams name down for the nursery that is attached to what we thought would be his school in the future… We are yet to receive a call to offer him a place in the nursery but I can categorically say we would turn it down. His current nursery have been amazing meeting his additional needs which is why we haven’t moved him and make the dreaded public transport trek back to our old stomping ground. They have been so supportive with us as parents and helped progress us through his journey more than we could have ever hoped. They source funding and provided one on one support with Val who is amazing with William and so knowledgeable about up to date processes for children with sensory issues, speech delays and more. They’ve arranged specialists to come in and assess William for any other issues he had been facing and kept us so up to date with his progress both developmentally and socially.
They arrange quarterly meetings to discuss next steps with us and all the professionals involved with William to ensure we are all signing from the same hymn sheet 🎶
If any one reading this wants any information on his nursery for their children please contact us via our ‘Lets Talk!’ page.

What a difference a few hours make… I often draft my posts and come back to them if I get too emotional or life gets in the way, I won’t take back anything nice I said about nursery as its all so true HOWEVER… today william came home with 2 bite marks. NOT 1 BUT 2 OF THEM! Apparently 2 separate instances today and there have been 2 others on different days! Thats 4 different bites over the last month. I understand that children with complex needs can lash out or simply not understand what they doing especially as William has bitten me on occasion however as William should have 1 on 1 support 100% of his time there you would imagine these could have been preventable or at least the second instance today! If it’s the same child (dont care which one) then safeguarding should be in place so that supervision is on hand at all times. If William has been bitten four times how many other children have been??? I have reached out to the manager to find out what is happening and what they are putting in place to prevent these incidents going forward so I will keep you updated on that.

We are in a little bit of an appointment limbo right now, for the first few months we had multiple appointments and now we only have one in the pipeline which is 2 months away. Don’t get me wrong it is an important one as its the PCP meeting (Parent Centred Planning meeting) to discuss his future education and where best would meet his needs. We will then put steps in place to obtain an EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plan) which will ensure he receives the support he needs when he transitions from nursery to primary school. I think we have both come to the conclusion that as things stand now that William will need to attend a specialised school who can cater to his specific needs however places in these kinds of schools are very limited as it is a massively underfunded sector. Money is often ploughed into hubs at mainstream schools which has provisions for children with additional needs however any child placed into one of these hubs is a child that thats needs to be in a specialised school and just watching the parents of children starting school this year talking about it on my support group was heart wrenching and filled me with a low burning anxiety that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere any time soon. We have received reports back from speech and language and IPass confirming verbatim what they had told us after their visits to nursery. They both contain what will happen next but no dates so we are just waiting for further info like with everything else. Just like waiting for his blood tests and genetics testing… just waiting for them to hit the mat in an afternoon 📫(our postman likes a lie in) It’s just the long wait now… sorry I mean the long wait just continues now. No confirmation as of yet that William has been accepted on to the ASD Panel list but again we are waiting for it.