Do you know this woman? If not let me introduce you…
This is Genevieve Hyde, she is the former head of education at Wargrave House School and Specialist College in Newton-Le-Willows.
I struggle when I think about the fact I will have to entrust William into the hands of a school for more than 6 hours a day, it genuinely gives me palpitations and strikes fear into my soul but when you make that inevitable decision of which school to entrust your child to, you pray it was the right one and that they have the utmost respect for you children and their needs. That they have nothing but the best intentions.
Genevieve did something that as a special needs parent I find unforgivable, she made fun of the children in her care. In fact, it’s unforgivable to make comments about any child but she was in a position of power and trust! I have had friends and family make comments about my child and can honestly say they have swiftly been put in their place or cut out completely… this is someone who should know much better than to be so cruel, someone who chose to work in that field, someone who should understand.
Genevieve created a WhatsApp group with members of her staff in which she not only made comments about other staff, but about pupils in her care. It was the another member of this group chat that reported her for her comments.
She also made comments referring to her pupils as ‘window licking’ my question here is that although one of her staff members reported her, did they comment in return to the messages? did they tell her it was inappropriate? or did they go along with her?
Can you imagine how the parents of this school feel knowing they placed their trust in a woman who blatantly abused it.
This woman was trusted with the care and education of children like William, children who, as the name of the school suggests require specialist care. In May 2019 she was suspended under an investigation of misconduct. She was later dismissed in which she unsuccessfully tried to appeal. Thank God! However, despite losing her job, she is still allowed to continue in the profession and seek employment within specialist education. How is this an appropriate punishment? In a few years and this isn’t in the papers, this woman may be in charge of another child’s education, I wouldn’t want it to be my child!
Were parents at her school even notified of this when it happened or have they read about it in the papers and now wondering if it was their child she was referring to?
The world can be a cruel and horrible place…
Much Love M. xx
Get new rants delivered directly to your inbox.
Please remember to check us out, and follow us on our social media pages 🙂
I want to talk about Olga Freeman, I’m not sure if some of you will have already heard about Olga as she has been in the papers over the months, after she committed an atrocious act and murdered her autistic son after her support was taken away during the pandemic. I do not want to discuss the murder, but I want to discuss her mental health during this pandemic and not just hers but all of ours.
I cannot understand how anyone can do something so heinous, but I can understand the feelings she may have had during this pandemic and I think any parent of a child with special needs can too, in fact any parent at all…
That overwhelming sense of slowly drowning; of not knowing how you could possibly keep your head above water but in many parents’ cases we know we must, so most of us learn how to swim no matter the waters.
Lockdown has been hard for many parents, but I speak from experience when I say that it has been exceptionally hard for those with special needs kids, support was completely stripped, nurseries and schools were closed, activities and respite were stopped, appointments postponed so many times they became a mere memory and people were restricted from seeing loved ones who act as a huge support network.
I am incredibly lucky that when I became a single parent back in October, the support came in strong from unexpected places. I was suddenly in need of a support bubble and it came in the shape of my neighbours who have massively stepped up for me in a way most would not have. It came in phone calls from friends just checking to see if we needed anything and were ok. It came in doorstep drop offs from family members.
Olga did not have that, what she did have were doctors agreeing that she needed more support but the local authority failing to provide it… She knew she was struggling and actively sought help in the month prior to killing her son. I speak for many parents now when I say that local authorities are notoriously slow at providing support, if any…
Olga suffered a severe mental breakdown which led her to take the life of her son. I suppose my point of this post is to implore you all to check on your neighbours, friends and family who may be struggling but hiding it well. I’m not saying that everyone is capable of such a horrendous act, but everyone is capable of reaching breaking point.
I have written previously about death by indifference in a previous post, check that out here but if you don’t want to read it in full here is a little summary. It details the deaths of 6 people who had special needs and how failures in the care system surrounding vulnerable patients (particularly non verbal one) lead to their early deaths.
Today I want to talk about Betty Wattenbarger and Coco Rose Bradford, two very young girls with autism who sadly died after seeking medical treatment.
Coco was 6 years old was admitted to The Royal Cornwall Hospital in summer 2017 with stomach problems, It shouldn’t have had any effect on the treatment she received but Coco was autistic. She was vomiting, had bloody loose stools and couldn’t take in any fluids. A quick look on WebMD and it tells me that fluids are most definitely needed based on the symptoms, no matter the cause.
It also to me (no medical training at all) seems like common sense but this didn’t happen, she was sent home only to be brought back to hospital the following day despite the hospital staff telling her parents she was ok. The staff missed several opportunities over the course of 8 days to establish what was wrong with her and save little Coco’s life, but they didn’t. After Coco died it was discovered she had an E-Coli infection and Haemolytic uremic syndrome, the doctors and staff on duty said they found Coco uncooperative and non-compliant when questioned about the little girl’s death. As a child I was terrified of hospitals, doctors, needles and would fight my mom if she tried to give me medicine or clean a wound (this is why I had a piece of glass stuck in my knee for over a year 😳) imagine being autistic and having those feeling plus a million more running around in your head without been able to tell anyone what is wrong. Just like most parents of autistic children Coco’s parents knew something was not right and spoke on her behalf imploring the hospital staff to help her but it fell on deaf ears. The NHS has admitted key failures in Coco’s care following a report.
Sadly Bettys story is very similar, she was 7 years old, she had autism and was nonverbal, in 2019 she was struck by a fever in which was severe enough for her parents to seek emergency medical treatment in which they were advised by a nurse practitioner that it was just the flu and sent home with pain relief. No testing was carried out despite her father displaying concerns about her breathing. Sadly, she died the following day. He dad described the moment she was gone as the light leaving is house.
Her family believe that had it not been for a misdiagnosis she would still be alive today, if they had seen a doctor she would be alive today and if she had been able to tell them how much pain she was in the she would have received the correct level of care and not have died. The Texas medical board have refused to confirm if they are carrying out an investigation.
I speak from experience that when your child cant tell you what is wrong it can be difficult but you learn to know your child like no other and the thought of those that are supposed to help them refuse to listen is terrifying. We are naturally protective over our children but what if no one listens? What power do we have to get those that should be helping to listen to us? It is a terrifying thought. These deaths are becoming more and more frequent. Is it death by indifference? Or death by ignorance? How can a 6-year-old not be treated because she was uncooperative? What 6-year-old on this planet is happy to be poked and prodded by strangers when poorly?
We need to keep talking about Autism. We need to educate teachers, doctors, and nurses. We need to normalize it. It is not a taboo subject, 1 in every 100 people in the UK is diagnosed as autistic. It is not uncommon. Why aren’t we teaching about it in schools?
I work in an office (pre Covid) and often have to have to catch up on new systems and safety procedures so why aren’t medical professionals being made to educate themselves on developments in diagnosis’?
One of my biggest fears is about William and getting into the right school for him and applications are getting closer and closer so it is a big source of stress during an already stressful time for us.
I read an article recently about a little local boy who was deemed ‘not special needs enough’ for a specialised school and ‘too special needs’ for a mainstream schools who can not accommodate his SEN requirements, leaving him without a place.
The little boy in question in question has a mental age not much older than Williams, is non verbal, is still in nappies and is currently awaiting his autism assessment. On paper a very similar situation to Williams, so as you can imagine this read was my equivalent of reading a Stephen King or Dean Koontz book before bed. 😱
I was advised to reach out to mainstream schools in our area to see what SEN provisions they have should William not be allocated a place within a special school, I have made no secret about the fact there is a specific special school I feel will suit his needs but if that is not possible I would happily begrudgingly accept an alternative but I know that a mainstream school would not be able to meet his needs in the long run, I have reached out to eight different schools in my area, only one which would be easy to get to but I reached out to them all. * One have said they can not accommodate him despite having a responsibility to adjust their settings to do so. * One have stated they need his EHCP before commenting, unfortunately due to covid the process of this was delayed and we may not have this in time for applications although I am aware that it is 90 pages long 📜 * One wanted to invite me in for a look around and a conversation but did state after early years they aren’t big enough to accommodate his needs. * One said they would call me and haven’t * The remaining four have yet to respond despite a secondary email.
Before I was a single parent, myself and William’s dad had discussed how we don’t think a mainstream school would be a good fit for William and the possibility of keeping him at home until we could secure a place which would meet all his needs however now I am not sure how I would be able to try and home school him and work all whilst fighting for his right to education in a safe and secure environment. It never crossed my mind that I would need a place at a mainstream school and now I am worried that I may not get one which is terrifying.
All signs and indications point to the fact William has an exceptionally good chance at obtaining a place at his school of choice or at least an suitable alternative but what if he doesn’t? The schools I am reaching out to aren’t exactly helping me make a decision but what if that decision is taken out of my hands? What if no school can help him?
Its a difficult thought to process especially after reading the article (Click here to read it), as with anything about special needs it is a waiting game, waiting for EHCP, waiting for an assessment but as each day passes mainstream allocations get closer and it feels so overwhelming. I guess waiting is the only thing I can do until our next meeting in December with the councils SEN team.
Hulls SEND strategy is dated from 2016 to 2020 and it starts with their vision Our vision for children with special educational needs and disabilities is the same as for all children and young people – that they achieve well in their early years, at school and in college, and lead happy and fulfilled lives. They talk about their responsibility to commission and provide services for children but there are so many cases where this hasn’t happened that I feel like I am reading a piece of fiction but again only time will tell…
I wanted to share with you some details from two articles published by The Independent and Hull Live about Ryan Addison.
Being from Hull myself the story automatically caught my attention for some pretty disturbing reasons. Firstly the article on Hull Live hold the title ‘Innocent Hull man locked up with criminals for years because of his autism’ When Ryan was 17 years old, verging on adulthood he showed signs of concerning behaviour which cumulated in him trying to take his own life. He was then voluntarily detained in hospital for help with his behaviour. With him being 17 at the time he would not have been able to give permission for this himself so the mental health professionals must have asked him mother and father for consent on his behalf.
Ryan’s mom was pleased and thought after some treatment she would get her boy back home, a few weeks maximum she thought… That was 14 years ago.
Sadly Ryan was wrong diagnosed as suffering with Schizophrenia which was only re-evaluated 12 years after the initial diagnosis. He did not have Schizophrenia but was actually autistic. For those 12 years with an incorrect diagnosis Ryan was treated with drugs for something he did not have. Ryan has been so heavily medicated he lost 14 teeth and had to be fitted with denture which has since been misplaced.
After 10 years Ryan was moved to the Humber Centre for Forensic Psychiatry which according to the NHS UK site provides medium and low security for patients suffering from mental disorders, learning disabilities and personality disorders; offering assessment, treatment and rehabilitation.
Within 4 months of arriving at The Humber Centre Ryan was put into long-term segregation and between October 2017 and February 2018 he was not permitted to have any contact with the outside world after showing aggressive behaviour and violence. The department of health state in their section of the right to have visitors when detained under the mental health act the below…
You can have visitors but different wards have different rules about times etc.
Your visitors can be very important in giving you support.
The Code of Practice also states
All patients have the right to maintain contact with, and be visited by, anyone they wish to see, subject to carefully limited exceptions. The value of visits in maintaining links with family and community networks is recognised as a key element in a patient’s care, treatment and recovery. Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) protects the right to a family life. In particular, every effort should be made to support parents to support their children. Patients should be able to see all their visitors in private, including in their own bedroom if the patient wishes.
Visits should be encouraged and made as comfortable and easy as possible for the visitor and the patient. Reasonable and flexible visiting times, access to refreshments and pleasant surroundings will all contribute to a sense of respect for the patient’s entitlement to be visited
In addition to visits, every effort should be made to assist the patient, where appropriate, to maintain contact with relatives, friends and advocates in other ways. It is good practice for patients to be placed in a hospital as close as reasonably practicable to their families, and patients should have readily accessible and appropriate daytime telephone and internet facilities (see chapter 8). Where a patient is placed out of area it is good practice to consider the needs of family and carers who have to travel in order to visit
There are circumstances where hospital managers may restrict visitors, refuse them entry or require them to leave. Managers should have a policy on the circumstances in which visits to patients may be restricted, to which both clinical staff and patients may refer, which should be clearly displayed on the ward.
There are two principal grounds which could justify the restriction or exclusion of a visitor: clinical grounds and security grounds.
The decision to prohibit a visit by any person whom the patient has requested to visit or has agreed to see should be regarded as a serious interference with the rights of the patient and a blanket restriction may be considered a breach of their article 8 rights. There may be circumstances when a visitor has to be excluded, but these instances should be exceptional and any decision should be taken only after other means to deal with the problem have been considered and (where appropriate) tried. Any such decision should be fully documented and include the reasons for the exclusion, and it should be made available for independent scrutiny by the CQC or service commissioner, and explained to the patient. Hospital managers should review the effect on the patient of any decision to restrict visits. These policies should be risk-based and not impose blanket restrictions, eg no visitors for the first four weeks after admission
From time to time, the patient’s responsible clinician may decide, after assessment and discussion with the multi-disciplinary team, that some visits could be detrimental to the safety or wellbeing of the patient, the visitor, other patients or staff on the ward. In these circumstances, the responsible clinician may make special arrangements for the visit, impose reasonable conditions or if necessary exclude the visitor. In any of these cases, the reasons for the restriction should be recorded and explained to the patient and the visitor, both orally and in writing (subject to the normal considerations of patient confidentiality). Wherever possible, 24-hour notice should be given of this decision.
The behaviour of a particular visitor may be disruptive, or may have been disruptive in the past, to the degree that exclusion from the hospital is necessary as a last resort. Examples of such behaviour include: • incitement to abscond • smuggling of illicit drugs or alcohol into the hospital or unit • transfer of potential weapons • unacceptable aggression, and • attempts by members of the media to gain unauthorised access.
A decision to exclude a visitor on the grounds of their behaviour should be fully documented and explained to the patient orally and in writing. Where possible and appropriate, the reason for the decision should be communicated to the person being excluded (subject to the normal considerations of patient confidentiality and any overriding security concerns).
The hospital manager has a responsibility to regularly monitor the excluded visitors list and keep all parties informed which was according the articles was not adhered to so he or she should be facing severe disciplinary action and potentially dismissal.
I want to add here that it wasn’t until 2018 that Ryan’s mom said it was clear he should not be locked up. Now I am not sure if the article is paraphrasing but misdiagnosis or not, Ryan’s behaviour was still very challenging; It took 9 staff to restrain him when he became aggressive which did result in Ryan suffering some injuries which shouldn’t have happened however if he was aggressive then there would be the need to restrain him from hurting himself or others in the facility.
It is officially stated that detaining those with autism diagnosis is not effective however figures do show that the number of those detained in facilities has more than doubled within 5 years which is a terrifying jump in numbers.
Sharon claims that she was not able to physically touch her son, take up to date photos of him or even see his room. she states she called the centre twice a day; once in a morning and once at night to see how her son was doing but in October 2019 she was unable to reach the ward despite multiple attempts. A member of staff at the facility had blocked Sharon’s number and when she dialled from her husbands phone that was blocked too. It was only then that she made an official complaint but no one would admit to blocking their calls and apparently it was untraceable due to the number of staff on duty but senior managers at the facility have given a stern warning to all staff that such behaviour is not acceptable! (apparently that needs spelling out) Thus meant that no one could be held accountable for such a heinous act and most probably still work there with vulnerable people and their families.
In a statement Humber Teaching Foundation Trust said: “We are in complete agreement with Mrs Clarke that Ryan’s current hospital placement is an inappropriate environment to meet Ryan’s needs. We are pleased that, following positive meetings with commissioners last week, together we are now taking the steps required to discharge Ryan into a community placement that will be better placed meet his needs. We understand that Ryan and his family feel that this process has taken a longer than expected, however, it is important that we find the right placement that meets Ryan’s complex needs and enables him to progress further with his recovery”
I’m a glass half empty kind of person and I do find it odd that it has taken so long for the failures around Ryan’s care to be addressed not only by his family but also the Clinical Commissioning Group and the NHS. Did Ryan just slip through the gaps? or was he forgotten about because it was more convenient for all parties?
The Government has now agreed a new 62 million pound fund to help local councils tailor bespoke packages to suit the needs of adults like Ryan however Covid-19 is more than likely to have an impact on this due to the amount council have spent during this pandemic.
His mom thinks that when he is released he will become more like the young boy she remembers and will truly blossom however that was a long time ago but I sincerely hope that is true for him. He has had a huge portion of his life taken away and although he can not get back the years he has lost I really hope he can have many fulfilled ones in the future. I will update about his release when possible.
Check out the original article from The Independent here And the Hull live article here
I have always judged people who get a puppy or dog and decide to take it back to the pound. I am completely aware there are 100% valid reasons in some cases but it always devastates me. You promised that little furry guy a new home, a good life and to love them forever… So […]
She implied to the word that she had ‘re-homed’ Huxley to a new mommy but turns out that apparently Huxley is in the US foster care system! And let’s face it even here in the UK we haven’t heard great things about that system. This means his current situation and new mommy may not even be permanent. Another traumatic upheaval for a little boy who deserves so much more. There is even rumour spreading round the internet that the re-homing was less official especially since the state of Ohio have announced his in not in their custody. When a parent (and I use this term loosely) decides they can no longer look after their adoptive child they go through an official vetted process called adoption dissolution. As it was Myka who used the term re-homed it may be that the process was not done officially and that they used the wildly criticised and unsafe underground method which is called… you guessed it… Re-Homing!!!
I have re-watched the video announcement, because you know, I felt my blood pressure wasn’t high enough and I just wanted to torture myself. She states in the video that the doctors told her he needed more, implying that they told her he needed re-homing.
She then discusses this “secret” about Huxley and how they can’t discuss in detail for his privacy and in fear of messing up his future? Well I’m sorry but they’ve shared every aspect of that child’s life including the fact he has bitten and pinched his siblings. By saying this repeatedly in the video it is implying that it is Huxley’s fault that she gave up on him. Including a video of him having a meltdown.
In a comment on one of her videos she also states Huxley wanted to be re-homed and constantly chose his new family instead of the Stauffer’s. He also apparently signed and showed lots of emotion to show he wanted to be with them. Let’s also bare in mind that Huxley is non verbal and only has limited use of signs. There is no way in fucking hell he would be able to knowingly agree to or want this let alone tell them he wants this.
Obviously this was everyone’s fault but theirs! It feels a little bit like the blame game. There full video about re-homing Huxley wasn’t even about Huxley but instead all about Myka just like all her other posts about their kids.
This post has resurfaced and people are slating her for it and I despise myself for this but at the time of writing this she was asking for guidance and it’s not fair for people to use that against her. William, as you guys will be aware is really food orientated to a degree in which it is obsessive. He loves food and doesn’t understand the difference between his food and anyone else’s. I noticed in one of Myka’s videos that she was using treats to help Huxley learn signs; this is a method our key worked advised us to use to help William make eye contact. Unfortunately as soon as William sees the food he goes into meltdown even if he doesn’t want to eat it.
There are numerous other theories out there as to why Huxley was re-homed however based on some footage which has surface I’m beginning to think he should have been removed from their care before they gave him up. There is footage of Huxley showing his hands taped so he is unable to suck his thumb. I wonder if they did this to their biological children.
Babies have natural rooting and sucking reflexes, which can cause them to put their thumbs or fingers into their mouths — sometimes even before birth. Because thumb sucking makes babies feel secure, some babies might eventually develop a habit of thumb sucking when they’re in need of soothing or going to sleep. This can be used as coping mechanism.
Thumb sucking for autistic children can be stimming behaviour, stimming is short for self-stimulating behaviours. It is also known as “stereotypical repetitive” behaviours. Therapists class stimming as a protective response to being overly sensitive to environmental stress. For example, a child starts to flap his hands when he is in a noisy shopping centre. Stimming is less reported when a child is engaged in activities that they like. In this case, stimming is recognised as an activity to occupy them while they are bored. Stimming is also viewed as a form of cause and effect play. One of William’s stimming behaviours includes sucking on clothes tags, we purchased something amazing for William so that his hands could be free for him to explore the world around him. Its called a Chew Buddy. Link below for you guys to check them out.
TheKillerDoll on YouTube discusses how it is blatantly obvious how they used Huxley to boost their channels and how they treat him differently to their biological children. Check out her video here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVcdwG17Rhc
The Stauffer family don’t seem to be leaving the headlines any time soon, especiallyas more and more skeletons are falling out of their closest, the YouTube community are turning against them, their sponsors have cut ties with them, their subscribers are dwindling and now at 706k, she has been caught out buying Instagram followers, I’m a YouTube novice so I wonder if she has bought viewers too?
Remember when I last posted about the ‘temporary’ suspension to EHCP’s? Remember how I worried that it wouldn’t temporary?
I hate to say I told you so but the suspension has now been extended further until 30th June… This could be extended even further closer to the time.
In case you are unaware an EHCP is an Education, Health & Care Plan which is a legally binding document that is written by the Local Authority (with parental and other professionals help) regarding a child’s additional educational and care needs. The plan outlines the type of support or intervention that the child will receive to ensure that their needs are being met.
Due to the coronavirus pandemic I did understand why this had been placed on hold due to the changes which schools were facing in regards to social distancing and how many staff and pupils in a room etc however June 1st is the day they have been pushing for kids to go back to school but with the latest announcement it seems they didn’t mean all kids, they didn’t mean the kids that need additional support.
“Make no mistake, I want the UK to be the best place in the world to educate your child and make the most of people’s talents.
Gavin Williamson, Education Secretary
This was taken from a speech Mr Williamson gave about his plans for post-Brexit education. He focus on improving technical education and welcoming international students, what Gavin missed out in his little speech was education for the already under funded and overlooked SEN children.
The new announcement is disappointing but not surprising.
Instead of Mr Williams sharing any of this to his twitter account instead he shared this…
‘Hello NSPCC? I would like to reportcountrywide neglect of those with special educational needs.’
I suppose we will have to wait until the end of June to see if this suspension of pivotal EHCPs is lifted, I for one will not be holding my breath.
I have always judged people who get a puppy or dog and decide to take it back to the pound. I am completely aware there are 100% valid reasons in some cases but it always devastates me. You promised that little furry guy a new home, a good life and to love them forever…
So you can completely understand how I felt when I read a news article about a woman called Myka Stauffer. Well it turns out Myka is relatively famous but I had never heard of her. She is a YouTube influencer with 715k subscribers although I am guessing this has dipped substantially recently with #CancelMykaStauffer trending on Twitter.
Until very recently Myka and her husband James were parents to 5 wonderful children; 4 biological children and 1 which was adopted from China, his name is Huxley. As of yesterday they have been in the news because they have chosen to re-home their adoptive child because he has autism and behavioural difficulties.
It pained me to give her views which inadvertently lines her pockets but I wanted to understand who these people were before I threw my 2 pence in.
There are numerous videos about Huxley before he was even Huxley if that makes sense and the videos on average have 75k views. Three years ago she made a video discussing how much she earns from YouTube but I’m not going to lie I could not be bothered to listen to it… I have a good paperback on the go and didn’t want to waste any more time on her than needed so I went onto a site that details the net worth of YouTube channels. Her site is worth $167k 💰 and her family’s daily vlog site is worth $33k 💰and the videos of her journey with Huxley have definitely contributed to that in a big way. Even the video uploaded about ‘re-homing’ Huxley will be earning her money which is disgusting. It currently has almost 1m views. No doubt her highest viewed video to date. If its about the views for them maybe she could give up one of her biological children next and hit 2 mil!!! She used Huxley to get money before she even officially had him. She asked her subscribers to partake in fundraiser for him by donating $5 for a jigsaw piece. It was a 1000 piece jigsaw and was the first image she would reveal of Huxley… Well I couldn’t find the link for the fundraiser 😲 but when I looked on some forums I found out that apparently It was just a link to send money directly into Myka’s paypal account.
She did state she would the names of everyone who donates in a baby book for when he was older… Hmm wonder what happened to that! 😡
My first thought when stalking her YouTube channel was that her videos are not my kind of thing, they portray her as a perfect parent, wife and housekeeper which is unattainable and puts pressure on her subscribers to be like that. I love Mrs Hinch but in a previous post I’m pretty sure I told her to go and fuck herself on one of my bad days. Myka seems to have a very high opinion of herself and from the posts she has shared not relating to Huxley I feel like she is what I like to call a MOMsplainer (another parent that talks to you as if you are neglecting your child, whether it’s on breast feeding, milestones or a vegan diet, they will give you unsolicited bias advice on anything) and I don’t have time for that so she is most definitely someone who’s videos I usually wouldn’t give the time of day.
My second thought is that if she is telling the truth about why she is sharing her adoption journey then we are quite similar in our thought process. Very similar to my statement when we started writing about William, she claims she is sharing her journey to help others going through the same thing and to help educate people in the process. Believe me I’m not relishing in this comparison.
Either Myka is an exceptional actress or she legitimately has the right reasons on some level at wanting to adopt this child. The emotions she display often come across as extremely raw and in parts I really felt for her during the adoption process videos.
This is the first video she posted with the announcement of their intentions.
What upset me on this video was that they are talking about fostering before adoption but how it’s not for them because they wouldn’t be able to give them back… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! 🤬
One thing I learnt from watching what felt like a million of these videos was that they specifically went for a ‘special focus’ adoption which means you are taking in a child knowing they have medical issues from the get go… I will repeat. THEY CHOSE THIS ROUTE! This is a direct quote from one the video’s in which she talks about Huxley’s diagnosis (this isn’t shared at this point) and what it means to them. They had received 3 different diagnosis’s at this point.
This is our boy and we don’t need to consult with any more physicians until I bring this little guy home. He’s our son and that’s that. We’re not going to trade him in. we’re not going to return him. He’s our boy.
So this crap about not being made aware of his need is absolute horse shit! in a direct quote… They didn’t want to know!
Huxley’s Gotcha Day video is heart-breaking and I’m not going to lie, my little book (a purple one this time for the blog) is speckled with tears. A gotcha Day is the day in which adoptive parents can officially take their child home. This should have been his happily ever after. 😥
From what I can figure out from their multiple levels of social media is that Huxley hadn’t appeared since late March but his appearances had been dwindling since the back end of 2019.
A post has resurfaced in which she is complaining and seeking help on a forum for parents who have also adopted from china, She is upset because Huxley is obsessed with food and will watch everyone eat and it ‘drives her husband bonkers’ well William takes food of strangers plates in restaurants and will actively enter zombie mode to get to what you have if he wants it, biting included. He has also on several occasions decided it is appropriate to come sit on my knee whilst I go to toilet… Kids are kids 🚽
The video itself is very well staged, They are both wearing white, a very common symbol of innocence. She is wearing her glasses which makes it difficult to tell if her high pitched whining is actually accompanied by proper tears.
‘do I feel like a failure as a mom? yes like 500%’
I hate to break it to you tiny tears but you were never his mom in the first place if you could do this!
Coming from the woman who seems to share everything on YouTube, she is explaining why there is no proof of these behaviours which were so difficult to deal with! She explains that little Huxley has gone to a new mommy who has medical training and the adoption agency have said they are a wonderful fit… I’m pretty sure in the announcement about adopting or one of the many that followed, you said you were prepared for the potential conditions of ‘special focus’ children because you were a registered nurse?!👩⚕️
I don’t think there is much more I can say on the subject, I do wonder if he had been her biological son would she have done the same? I could never imagine our lives without William, He’s challenging and can be naughty and I’ve often joked about locking him in a cupboard but he’s my life. My son 💙
FYI – whilst writing this Myka Stauffer has lost 2000 subscribers but her video is now on 1.1 mil.
Gavin Williamson our current Secretary of State for Education has made a ‘temporary’ amendment in regards to EHCPs. In my basic understanding an EHCP is a document which outlines the needs a child has in regards to their education and the local authority must adhere to it.
This amendment in laments terms basically means that EHCPs are now pretty much null and void. It’s completely understandable that the government would do something like this to protect themselves in such unprecedented times.
Most parents will understand this amendment as it’s not reasonably possible for an EHCP to be followed to the letter when schools are closed to the majority and social distancing needs to be enforced.
As you can imagine, me being the neurotic mess I am immediately panicked… William doesn’t have his in place yet, what if we can’t get one? He can’t get into a school that will meet his needs. He will fall further and further behind… the whirlwind in my mind went on and on 🌪
I reached out to Lisa who is the SENCO for early years to find out if and how this would affect us. Luckily new applications are still being accepted which has put my mind at ease (a little) as without one we can not apply to go to our school of choice which we are almost agreed upon. 🤣
Our PCP meeting is still due to take place over email or Skype or in some other technological way 👩💻 which is brilliant as we can get the ball rolling despite the current situation.
My main worry is the ‘temporary’ part of this announcement. When it’s safe to leave the house and get back to what will be put new normal, will EHCPs be enforceable again? Or will there be another reason to suspend them.
I worry about what’s going to happen in the future for the children with special needs. The world is only just starting to understand ASD and I worry this will set us as parents of these children back in our fight to get out children the best possible care.
William himself has had some amazing days recently. He’s spent a lot of time in the garden and engaging with our neighbours especially when food is involved 🍲 honestly he’s like a little zombie trying to get brains 🧟♂️
After the good days there is always a few bad. He’s not eating like he normally does. He doesn’t want to spend time with me… which is understandable but he doesn’t even want to spend time with Rusty 🐕 which is almost unheard of.
The nights he wont sleep and cant be settled are upon us. I feel so useless on these nights and could quite often sit and cry with him… pathetic I know.
Then the (disgusting) icing on the cake… this morning he was on top form and spread poo all over his room and himself. He was literally as happy as a pig in shit. 🐖 Then comes the trauma of having to hose him down and clean poo off his face and every other surface. It was like that scene in psycho. 🔪🚿