Posted in Emotions

Mothers vs Fathers

I see a lot of posts on Facebook bashing dad’s and it’s shit! I mean that’s not really an eloquent way of putting it but it’s just everywhere and I’m so fed up of it. Seeing posts and memes of the like implying that dads are useless. There are so many dad’s who are no longer with the mom’s out there who are amazing and you never really see that side of it so here it is…

You all already know that this is Dave, Williams dad 😊
William’s dad and I had a painful ending to our marriage and I was hurt and I’m not afraid to admit it, wanted to hurt him like he had me. BUT not once did I think of using William to do that because it’s wrong and would not only have hurt his dad but William also. Don’t get me wrong I thought of many ways to hurt him that didn’t involve William, combine harvester accidents, hitmen, superglue in his hat, nair in his gel, dog licking his toothbrush, you know… the usual stuff 😂 (I get a little petty sometimes😏) but the top and bottom of it is that I am in fact so very grateful to have Dave as a co-parent. He’s a brilliant dad and absolutely dotes on William. I firmly believe that whenever possible (Which I know it’s not always) kids deserve both parents in their lives and a messy break up shouldn’t prevent that. Dave and I never have to be friends, we just have to be good parents independently and together for our son but that doesn’t mean that one day we can’t become friends..

This unnecessary dad bashing has to stop! Its grossly unfair in some cases because I know men who have children they are desperate to see but aren’t allowed.
I know men who pay everything they have in maintenance and struggle to pay their own rent.
I know men who will buy their children shoes they wanted but didn’t need, and yet their one pair of trainers are held together with superglue.
I know men who travel miles and miles to spend less than an hour with their child.

There is a reason dad’s have dressed as superheroes and scaled building in order to have their voices and rights acknowledged.

Check out the link here for the Fathers4Justice page and read some of the heartbreaking stories.

On the other end of the scale I know of mom’s who have walked out on their babies and never looked back.
I know women who used a man to conceive and then cut that man out their lives.
I know women who restrict access to their child because the relationship between the parents had broken down.
I know women who pay nothing in child support and go out every weekend in new clothes.

I’m not saying all fathers are angels and that some are not useless but the same can be said for some mothers.
I think before we all jump on the bandwagon and slate our ‘baby daddies’ (I hate that term) we should evaluate if the reasons they are “so shit” is because of what has happened between us as their parents or because of the way they are with their child?

I think my point to this post/rant is that some dads moms PARENTS are shit! There isn’t a set gender on being a c**t. Amen! x

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Posted in school

26/04/2022

I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for the fact I haven’t written a post in a while but last week was a big week for us and a very emotional one. I felt that it wasn’t the right time to do any kind of writing so that I could process that William had finally gone to school.

I had been very honest about how I was feeling in relation to William going to school and had taken some time off to come to terms with this big adjustment and to be there for William every step of the way.

I’ll kick this off by sharing some photos of his first day, we came together as a family (as we should) to be there for William on his first day, I think it was more of a big deal to us than it was William.

26/04/2022
26/04/2022
26/04/2022
Proud mommy – 26/04/2022
William and his daddy- 26/04/2022

William was an absolute superstar, he was so excited to get on the bus and start his educational journey. He loves travelling so choosing to send him on transport was most definitely the right option… well the only option since I don’t drive myself (although driving lessons are now booked 😬🚘) but even when I do, or if I do, I think I will still send him on the bus as he’s made a friend and it’s so good for him to have that 1 on 1 social interaction although today he did get moved this week because he was eating the little boys coat 🤣 Pica at its finest.

I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t a mess on his first day, second day and so on but seeing his face as he got on the bus was so fulfilling that I genuinely forgot about all my own fears and doubts, my own insecurities just fizzled a little. His face, full of confidence and joy made me feel worthwhile as a mother. I have done a bloody good job so far and now his teachers can continue with his education and help him develop and I will continue to help turn him into the lovely little boy he is and the amazing man he will grow to be.

I’m sat here at 11.47am on a Thursday, my house is clean and I have the time to sit and write this, watch some TV and just breathe… it’s an odd feeling but not the horrendous one I thought it would be. I’m not breaking down or feeling sorry for myself. My little boy is growing up and starting a journey in which he should have started last year. its hard when he doesn’t want to get off the bus on a night because i have this little voice that goes ‘he doesn’t need you now’ but that’s not true. We always need our parents. I’m in my thirties and still need my mom to tell me everything will be ok. William needs me, just not as much as he did before but i’m ok with that… we need to let our kids go so that they can fly and he is doing that.

We have this whole new support network in his teachers and his passengers assistant on the bus who is amazing and so lovely. She called me a few times the first week to let me know how he was on the bus as she saw I was upset. His teachers email me updates and there is an app in which they upload photos and comments. They have their first parents opening soon for the queen’s jubilee in which they will do a parade around the school, sadly I can’t attend but Williams dad will be going to support him.

I’m excited and nervous to see how school will help him develop but it’s a whole new chapter and i’m excited to start sharing it with you all. Much love, M. xx

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