Posted in Emotions

That’s all folks

It is with an exceptionally heavy and broken heart that I write this today, going forward I will be the sole contributor when it comes to sharing William’s journey with you all.
This isn’t what I wanted for my family and I am personally going to need some time to adjust to being a single parent, to adjust to not being somebody’s wife and to spend a little time getting to used to being alone for the first time in almost thirteen years.
As you can understand this is a very difficult time and I need a little privacy to get my head around things.

David is Williams dad and will continue be involved in Williams life as much as possible and any decisions that need to be made on Williams behalf will continue to be made jointly but sadly that is where it will end.

Much love, M x

Posted in autism and covid19, Emotions

Am I overreacting?

I want to talk about why we now own these two DVDs

I used to love DVDs, movies are a big passion of mine and had over two thousand DVDs not including TV box sets or Christmas films. About two years ago we realised like many other people that they were just gathering dust because we had become more reliant on streaming services which made me a little sad as I had been collecting them since I was about thirteen and finally decided to get rid of my VHS. When I met Dave he too shared my passion for movies and our collection just grew. I remember the last DVD I bought was for Dave for Christmas 2014 and it was The Guardians of The Galaxy. We gave almost every single DVD away, Big Nan got first dibs of the chick flicks, I kept the Disney classic in a DVD folder and the rest went to our close friends.

We don’t even own a DVD player but yet yesterday Dave bought these two DVDs ๐Ÿ˜•

Yesterday was Williams 6 month eye check at the Eye Hospital and as I was working and only one parent is allowed to attend due to Covid-19 restrictions Dave went on his own… I’m getting better at trusting anyone other than myself to ask the right questions now… sometimes. They always struggle to do his eye check as he isn’t fully cooperative, They have told us at the last two checks that everything seems fine but they can’t be 100% sure because he won’t let them check as thoroughly as they would like. Because of this we keep going back, waiting for the day they will discharge us as a patient. William didn’t get to see his Auntie H either as she was super busy.

As a treat afterwards for being a good boy Dave took William into the town centre to get him a treat for his dinner. This usually results in copious amounts of cheese straws and sausage rolls from Cooplands. The boy is an absolute savory fiend.

Anyone that knows Dave knows that he loves his Playstation. Not as much as he love William or Rusty but I think it’s on par with me ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ so he popped into CEX in Prospect Centre to look at some games. This is somewhere that when at the height of my DVD addiction I used to frequent on my lunch break when I worked in the offices above. ๐Ÿ’ฟ The staff have always been pleasant, helpful and friendly.
William is a sneaky bugger when he wants to be, we’ve been in shops when he has grabbed something random off the shelves because it caught his eye and I’ve nearly left with it or when he has started trying to eat a wrapped chocolate bar and ‘ve had to pay for it knowing full well he doesn’t like turkish delight (It’s a good job I do… keep up the bright wrappers Frys ๐Ÿ˜‰)

Dave got shouted at by a woman in CEX.
I will repeat that… shouted at by a woman in CEX.
That’s CEX the most relaxed shop in the world.
‘You’re not allowed to touch!’
‘He can’t touch that!’
‘Covid!’
Now I’m not sure if I am overreacting here but William sits in what is in my opinion clearly a disability stroller. There is a hidden disability lanyard hanging from one handle and a large disc on the other. I’m really angry that they chose to address this by shouting and for anyone but Dave, this could have caused upset or major embarrassment, I speak from experience when I say that on some days life as a special needs parent is one comment, look or cough away from a breakdown. She at this point had no idea if he was planning on purchasing the items or not.
I understand that in the current climate you have to be so careful but these DVDs are wrapped in plastic and could easily be wiped down, We carry antibacterial wipes in our change bag and could have wiped them down ourselves.
I’m also not saying that because William has additional needs that he doesn’t need to follow the rules but there should be at least some modicum of understanding. or a better way of going about it.
Dave bought the DVDs and basically told the woman that was his intention all along despite not knowing William had hold of them as a way of saying fuck you. Mr however I think I would have shamed her, told her loudly all about Williams needs and difficulties and made her feel like an idiot, offered to wipe them down or to buy them if that wasn’t feasible. She could have gone about it in a much better way; she could have walked over and explained to Dave who would have apologised and explained but she didn’t… she chose to berate Dave across the shop floor.
I’m not sure if i’m being oversensitive but I do feel in the year 2020 people should be more understanding before jumping to conclusions. William wasn’t running amok in the store he was confined to his stroller clearly displaying he had additional needs.
If you aren’t allowed to touch the DVDs or Games how are you supposed to read the back to ensure they are suitable? They’ve all been wrapped in the clear plastic, for what reason?

My current writing situation ๐Ÿฅฐ

On a positive note…
Last night William had just had a bum change (not the positive bit ๐Ÿคฎ) and he reached his arms out to me like he wanted to be carried and when I reached down he placed his arm around my neck and put his head on my shoulder. He wanted to give me a cuddle ๐Ÿฅฐ He has never actively cuddled before. He will climb up next to you and snuggle in but he initiated a cuddle for the first time. ๐Ÿฅฒ I cried and ruined the moment because he then pinched my glasses and ran away laughing but it was so worth it!