Posted in Autism In The News

Back to the pound 🐶

I have always judged people who get a puppy or dog and decide to take it back to the pound. I am completely aware there are 100% valid reasons in some cases but it always devastates me. You promised that little furry guy a new home, a good life and to love them forever…

So you can completely understand how I felt when I read a news article about a woman called Myka Stauffer. Well it turns out Myka is relatively famous but I had never heard of her. She is a YouTube influencer with 715k subscribers although I am guessing this has dipped substantially recently with #CancelMykaStauffer trending on Twitter.

Until very recently Myka and her husband James were parents to 5 wonderful children; 4 biological children and 1 which was adopted from China, his name is Huxley. As of yesterday they have been in the news because they have chosen to re-home their adoptive child because he has autism and behavioural difficulties.

It pained me to give her views which inadvertently lines her pockets but I wanted to understand who these people were before I threw my 2 pence in.

There are numerous videos about Huxley before he was even Huxley if that makes sense and the videos on average have 75k views. Three years ago she made a video discussing how much she earns from YouTube but I’m not going to lie I could not be bothered to listen to it… I have a good paperback on the go and didn’t want to waste any more time on her than needed so I went onto a site that details the net worth of YouTube channels. Her site is worth $167k 💰 and her family’s daily vlog site is worth $33k 💰and the videos of her journey with Huxley have definitely contributed to that in a big way. Even the video uploaded about ‘re-homing’ Huxley will be earning her money which is disgusting. It currently has almost 1m views. No doubt her highest viewed video to date.
If its about the views for them maybe she could give up one of her biological children next and hit 2 mil!!!
She used Huxley to get money before she even officially had him. She asked her subscribers to partake in fundraiser for him by donating $5 for a jigsaw piece. It was a 1000 piece jigsaw and was the first image she would reveal of Huxley… Well I couldn’t find the link for the fundraiser 😲 but when I looked on some forums I found out that apparently It was just a link to send money directly into Myka’s paypal account.

She did state she would the names of everyone who donates in a baby book for when he was older… Hmm wonder what happened to that! 😡

My first thought when stalking her YouTube channel was that her videos are not my kind of thing, they portray her as a perfect parent, wife and housekeeper which is unattainable and puts pressure on her subscribers to be like that.
I love Mrs Hinch but in a previous post I’m pretty sure I told her to go and fuck herself on one of my bad days. Myka seems to have a very high opinion of herself and from the posts she has shared not relating to Huxley I feel like she is what I like to call a MOMsplainer (another parent that talks to you as if you are neglecting your child, whether it’s on breast feeding, milestones or a vegan diet, they will give you unsolicited bias advice on anything) and I don’t have time for that so she is most definitely someone who’s videos I usually wouldn’t give the time of day.

My second thought is that if she is telling the truth about why she is sharing her adoption journey then we are quite similar in our thought process. Very similar to my statement when we started writing about William, she claims she is sharing her journey to help others going through the same thing and to help educate people in the process. Believe me I’m not relishing in this comparison.

Either Myka is an exceptional actress or she legitimately has the right reasons on some level at wanting to adopt this child. The emotions she display often come across as extremely raw and in parts I really felt for her during the adoption process videos.

This is the first video she posted with the announcement of their intentions.

What upset me on this video was that they are talking about fostering before adoption but how it’s not for them because they wouldn’t be able to give them back… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! 🤬

One thing I learnt from watching what felt like a million of these videos was that they specifically went for a ‘special focus’ adoption which means you are taking in a child knowing they have medical issues from the get go… I will repeat. THEY CHOSE THIS ROUTE!
This is  a direct quote from one the video’s in which she talks about Huxley’s diagnosis (this isn’t shared at this point) and what it means to them. They had received 3 different diagnosis’s at this point.

This is our boy and we don’t need to consult with any more physicians until I bring this little guy home. He’s our son and that’s that. We’re not going to trade him in. we’re not going to return him. He’s our boy.

So this crap about not being made aware of his need is absolute horse shit! in a direct quote… They didn’t want to know!

Huxley’s Gotcha Day video is heart-breaking and I’m not going to lie, my little book (a purple one this time for the blog) is speckled with tears. A gotcha Day is the day in which adoptive parents can officially take their child home. This should have been his happily ever after. 😥

From what I can figure out from their multiple levels of social media is that Huxley hadn’t appeared since late March but his appearances had been dwindling since the back end of 2019.

A post has resurfaced in which she is complaining and seeking help on a forum for parents who have also adopted from china, She is upset because Huxley is obsessed with food and will watch everyone eat and it ‘drives her husband bonkers’ well William takes food of strangers plates in restaurants and will actively enter zombie mode to get to what you have if he wants it, biting included. He has also on several occasions decided it is appropriate to come sit on my knee whilst I go to toilet… Kids are kids 🚽

The video itself is very well staged, They are both wearing white, a very common symbol of innocence. She is wearing her glasses which makes it difficult to tell if her high pitched whining is actually accompanied by proper tears.

‘do I feel like a failure as a mom? yes like 500%’

I hate to break it to you tiny tears but you were never his mom in the first place if you could do this!

Coming from the woman who seems to share everything on YouTube, she is explaining why there is no proof of these behaviours which were so difficult to deal with!
She explains that little Huxley has gone to a new mommy who has medical training and the adoption agency have said they are a wonderful fit… I’m pretty sure in the announcement about adopting or one of the many that followed, you said you were prepared for the potential conditions of ‘special focus’ children because you were a registered nurse?!👩‍⚕️

I don’t think there is much more I can say on the subject, I do wonder if he had been her biological son would she have done the same? I could never imagine our lives without William, He’s challenging and can be naughty and I’ve often joked about locking him in a cupboard but he’s my life. My son 💙

FYI – whilst writing this Myka Stauffer has lost 2000 subscribers but her video is now on 1.1 mil.